“The Savage Curtain”
Teleplay by Arthur Heinemann and Gene Roddenberry
Story by Gene Roddenberry
Directed by Herschel Daugherty
Season 3, Episode 22
Production episode: 3×22
Original air date: March 7, 1969
Star date: 5906.4
Mission summary
The Enterprise is in orbit around a molten lava-coated and poisonous planet that nonetheless reads carbon-based life. Seems like a classic mission for our bunch, but unfortunately the mysteries of Excalbia will have to go unexplored because the molten planetary surface isn’t suitable for a landing party. Just as Kirk turns that starship right around so no one can go to Mordor, the Enterprise jumps to red alert: they’re being scanned. “A deep probe, incredibly swift,” Spock says (miraculously without giggling).
On the viewscreen, a man in a black suit, seated in a leather chair, and wearing a stovepipe hat appears to float.
ALIEN THING: No need to check your voice telegraph device. Do I gather that you recognize me?
KIRK: I recognize what you appear to be.
ALIEN THING: And appearances can be most deceiving, but not in this case, James Kirk. I am Abraham Lincoln.
Lincoln offers to come aboard and allow them to use “devices which can check my reality.” This sounds exciting, so Kirk agrees. Just as Lincoln disappears from the viewscreen, an Earthlike, one-thousand-square-kilometer area appears on Excalbia’s surface. It’s got a breathable atmosphere. How did that get there?
Kirk tells his officers to get in dress uniform and greet Lincoln with a full presidential welcome. McCoy thinks this is “poppycock,” and Scotty tends to agree:
SCOTT: President Lincoln, indeed. No doubt to be followed by Louis of France and Robert the Bruce!
KIRK: If so, we’ll execute appropriate honors to each, Mister Scott.
SCOTT: Aye, sir.
KIRK: Gentlemen, I don’t for a moment believe that President Lincoln is actually coming aboard, but we’re dealing with an unknown and apparently highly advanced life-form. Until we know, when in Rome, we’ll do as the Romans do.
Man, I would love to see a Lupercalia episode.
Anyway, Mr. Spock prepares to beam this Lincoln fellow aboard but locks on briefly to something that seemed like a “living rock” creature, with foreclaws. But it disappears, so they try not to think much of it and beam aboard Lincoln. He seems real enough for someone who’s been dead three centuries, even if he has some atrocious tanning make-up and is entirely too short to be the man himself. The ex-president is surprised by the taped music that greets him and seems in awe of the ship and its newfangled technologies, but takes it in good humor and allows himself to be escorted to the bridge.
Kirk wonders in a captain’s log who this man is: an alien who can change shape? A reincarnation of the real thing? But it seems so real to Kirk: “his kindness, his gentle wisdom, his humor.” Lincoln meets everyone with a genteel civility that seems at home, in its own way, with the ship and its crew. He compliments Uhura as a “charming negress,” and then immediately apologizes for possibly offending her.
UHURA: But why should I object to that term, sir? You see, in our century we’ve learned not to fear words.
Kirk goes on to say that here, in the future, “We’ve each learned to be delighted with what we are.” Lincoln approves of this, but he seems to know all these things already. He also seems to think that when they beam down to the planet, they will find a great Vulcan leader, though he doesn’t know who (or why). This is all well and good but Kirk is late to his 3 o’clock meeting, so Uhura picks up as tour guide. Kirk and Spock retreat to the briefing room where McCoy and Scotty have been not-so-patiently awaiting them.
Scotty and McCoy think that beaming down to the planet is a terrible idea. Who’s to say how safe this little patch of habitability is? Who is this Lincoln impostor anyway? It all reeks of something foul in the works, but Kirk doesn’t want to hear it:
KIRK: The very reason for the existence of our starships is contact with other life. Although the method is beyond our comprehension, we have been offered contact. Therefore, I shall beam down.
And that’s why he’s the captain.
They make their way to the transporter room and Scotty beams them down, but their phasers and tricorders mysteriously remain behind on the transporter pad. On the planet’s surface, Spock can’t reach the Enterprise with his communicator. They turn against Lincoln, demanding he divulge his secret Union plans, but he swears he’s the real deal and he doesn’t know what’s going on. In any case, they’re not alone. A Vulcan emerges from the bushes and identifies himself as Surak–the founder of Vulcan thought as we know it and a great hero to Spock.
SPOCK: It is not logical that you are Surak. There is no fact, extrapolation of fact or theory, which would make possible…
SURAK: Whatever I am, would it harm you to give response?
SPOCK: Live long and prosper, image of Surak, father of all we now hold true.
SURAK: The image of Surak read in your face what is in your mind, Spock.
SPOCK: As I turned and my eyes beheld you, I displayed emotion. I beg forgiveness.
SURAK: The cause was more than sufficient. Let us speak no further of it. In my time, we knew not of Earth men. I am pleased to see that we have differences. May we together become greater than the sum of both of us.
Because the sum of both of you… is somehow different than the parts combined? What? Kirk loses patience with this logic puzzle and demands to know what’s really going on. Why would a great hero pop out of the bushes?
Suddenly a huge rock comes alive. No, this is not a Sid and Marty Krofft production, though you wouldn’t know that by looking at it. It explains that Kirk and Spock are welcome on their planet, as stars of a “great drama.” And then some more folks emerge from the bushes: a Mongolian-looking fellow, a Caucasian guy, an alien woman, and a Klingon. They are the rogues gallery of the universe: Genghis Khan (as you know, Bob); Colonel Green (who I assumed was the bastard child of Colonel Mustard and Mr. Green, but is actually just a genocidal sociopath from the 21st century); Zora (the futuristic equivalent of the scientists behind Tuskegee); and Kahless the Unforgettable, founder of the Klingon empire. The rock man invites the Enterprise crew orbiting above to watch the “play,” too–which is great for them since the whole ship lost power and they haven’t got anything else to do.
The rock man explains that he wants to learn a little bit about humans, by pitting good against evil: to see who would survive, and which one is strongest. Also his satellite is down and there’s nothing else on. Kirk and Spock refuse to participate, but the rock man thinks they’ll change their tune as soon as they’re attacked. He turns back into a rock and lets the drama commence.
Colonel Green tells Kirk that he doesn’t want to be there either, and suggests that they team up against their mutual foe: the rock monster. Unfortunately he shows his hand when his comrades circle around and throw rocks at the good guys. Real mature, dudes. It turns out more than four score and seven years ago Lincoln, too, must have attended the Academy of Man-Fighting because some truly ridiculously choreography ensues. Eventually the rogues run off, but Surak thinks there’s a grain of a good idea even in that scheme. They should work together for peace.
The rock man appears again, pissed that his toys are trying to be diplomats instead of cowboys. He wonders aloud if what the men need is a cause to fight for–and puts Kirk back in touch with his ship. Scotty can’t explain how, but the matter and antimatter are approaching “zone red proximity” (translation: oh noes!) and they have four hours before the ship will inexplicably explode. There we go, artificial tension will make this better, right?
Kirk tries to tell Scotty to jettison the nacelles and get the hell out of there, but communications are cut off again. Lincoln has resigned himself to fate:
LINCOLN: James, the war is forced upon us. History repeats itself.
Because this? Just like the War Between the States.
Kirk launches into war mode. He instructs Lincoln to make slings and Spock to make a boomerang, because that makes sense. Surak thinks this is a load of bullshit, though: sticks?! He’s going to try and offer peace instead. (This is, I promise, a less ridiculous offer than the prospect of fighting history’s villains.) He cites Vulcan foreign policy examples of how the first diplomats were always killed, but eventually a long-lasting peace was established. (I guess he didn’t really appreciate the gravity of his own story, though, about the first diplomats…)
He heads off to the rogue camp. They don’t trust him, of course, and though he swears he’s just a nonviolent guy, they think it’s some sort of trick.
GREEN: How can I believe that? No one talks peace unless he’s ready to back it up with war.
But he seems to go along with it, and promises to talk to “his associates.” Yes, we’ve just met the Bad Guy Mafia.
Meanwhile, back at Kirk’s stick-sharpening party, they begin to hear screams for help from Surak. Spock doesn’t think that a Vulcan would whine like that even if he were being tortured, but Kirk insists on doing something. It’s actually Lincoln that comes up with a plan: he’ll go in and free Surak while Kirk and Spock create a distraction.
LINCOLN: One matter further, gentlemen. We fight on their level. With trickery, brutality, finality. We match their evil. I know, James. I was reputed to be a gentle man. But I was commander in chief during the four bloodiest years of my country’s history. I gave orders that sent a hundred thousand men to their death at the hands of their brothers. There is no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war except its ending. And you are fighting for the lives of your crew.
It’s on.
Unfortunately, the rogues aren’t that stupid. As Lincoln unties Surak he finds that the Vulcan is already dead. Lincoln whips around to see behind his back Green and Kahless–and Kahless’s perfect imitation of Surak’s voice.
KAHLESS: Help me, Spock. Help me, Spock.
GREEN: Now can you cry like Lincoln?
KAHLESS: Help me, Kirk. Help me, Kirk!
A short time later, Lincoln approaches Kirk and Spock, but warns Kirk to stay back–just as he collapses on his face with a spear sticking out his back. Those bastards! They killed Lincoln!
Zora runs away, but Khan and Kahless fight our heroes. Green tries to run away once the others are dispatched but Kirk catches up with him and he falls on his own dagger, like a pro.
The rock man returns, and he seems a little disappointed with the show.
ROCK: You are the survivors. The others have run off. It would seem that evil retreats when forcibly confronted. However, you have failed to demonstrate to me any other difference between your philosophies. Your good and your evil use the same methods, achieve the same results. Do you have an explanation?
Kirk suggests that because the rock man set up the game and made the rules and made the victory conditions dependent on violence, well, it’s just HIS fault that they had to turn all evil to win.
KIRK: How many others have you done this to? What gives you the right to hand out life and death?
ROCK: The same right that brought you here. The need to know new things.
KIRK: We came in peace.
ROCK: And you may go in peace.
Kirk and Spock are finally able to beam back up to the Enterprise, where everything is miraculously running smoothly again. Spock suggests that the aliens must have scanned their minds to create, from their memories, the physical embodiments of their heroes.
KIRK: They seemed so real. And to me, especially Mr. Lincoln. I feel I actually met Lincoln.
SPOCK: Yes, and Surak. Perhaps in a sense they were real, Captain. Since they were created out of our own thoughts, how could they be anything but what we expected them to be?
KIRK: It was so hard for me to see him die again.
Because he was there the first time?? And it’s President Lincoln to you.
KIRK: There’s still so much of their work to be done in the galaxy, Spock. Mister Sulu, break us out of orbit and continue to our next assignment.
Analysis
Did Gene Roddenberry just play “Who Would Win?” Seriously?
This week’s fandom deathmatch regurgitated at least five different episodes, few of them any good in the first place, to create something less than the sum of its parts. So we have these rock aliens who want to learn about people by torturing them. Seen it! They do it specifically by pitting creatures against one another in hand-to-hand combat. Seen it! And put them on a planet where they have to make their own weapons. Seen it! And Kirk’s essential goodness trumps the baddies in some ill-defined, generally fuzzy-feeling way. Seen that one, too! Did this come from a Star Trek plot generator or something?
I like Lincoln. Everyone likes Lincoln. Weirdly, he doesn’t even seem that out of place on the Enterprise. What better symbol of passionate activism than Lincoln? Than a man who felt deeply and earnestly in equality and progress as the hallmarks of America? And he wasn’t some loathsome peacenik, either–he went to war when he had to go to war to defend those values he so held dear. I appreciate that he’s Kirk’s greatest hero, but the kind of whiny approval-seeking that Kirk displays as he goes around explaining things to Lincoln (like the line that “We’ve each learned to be delighted with what we are.” What is that even supposed to mean?) was just sad. Lincoln only seems to be here to validate Roddenberry’s vision–and while I think he would, spelling it out should be beneath the show.
What really bothers me, though, is that by the end I still felt like I had no idea what had just happened. Were the people on the surface illusions? What happened when they “died”? Were they some kind of lifeforms created expressly for this game, like puppets? And by what definition of survival does running away from battle not count as surviving?? The bad guys are still alive… so how did our guys win? What did the rock people learn? That peace gets you killed and war helps you survive?
Kirk’s adulation of Lincoln, Spock’s reverence for Surak–each could have been explored more interestingly as a sideplot to some main story. But to have them literally come to life and talk to our heroes and have a fireside, stick-sharpening chat? Who writes this crap?
Oh right. I remember. Now I just made myself sad.
Torie’s Rating: Warp 1 (on a scale of 1-6)
Eugene Myers: I’m starting to feel like we’re just watching the same episodes over and over again, only they’re getting worse. This is the third episode in a row to start with the same “dramatic” music in the teaser as something exciting is supposedly happening. But in this case, the ship is in orbit around a molten planet running some routine scans, so that musical cue hardly seems appropriate. Like everything else about this episode, it’s just an artificial way of engaging us.
Admittedly, when Abraham Lincoln literally floats onscreen, things get more…let’s call it “interesting.” I’ve never seen anything like that before. (Except of course, for the last time I saw this episode.) The crew is stunned at his appearance, and so were many viewers, I dare say. But that wasn’t the most ridiculous image we’re presented with. No, that would have to be the sight of Abraham Lincoln wrestling with Genghis Khan. You don’t see that every day, do you? Thank goodness. (The rock monster was also somewhat ridiculous, though he reminded me of a similar creature in The Neverending Story.)
The other big surprise was Roddenberry’s story credit for this one, mostly because of his lack of involvement for most of the season. I expected more from him, perhaps naively, but instead “The Savage Curtain” ends up being a simplistic story about a battle between Good and Evil, which had to have been old even in 1969. I mean, it’s an actual battle. On top of that, we have more space douches who decide to subject humans to a faulty experiment to determine their quality of goodness. Taking a page from the Metrons, they drop Kirk and Spock on a planet and tell them to make weapons out of whatever they find there. With no sign of the ingredients for gunpowder, Kirk resorts to sticks and stones–somehow having forgotten how to make rudimentary bows and arrows as they did in “Friday’s Child.” And to add insult to injury, he asks Spock to make some Vulcan boomerangs, assuming he would know how because his ancestors could do it. Good one, Kirk. We never see these boomerangs in action though, so maybe he was hoping Surak would lead the boomerang workshop.
Let’s examine the rock man’s experiment for a moment. He already knows pretty much everything about Kirk, Spock, Enterprise, and Starfleet–so what’s the whole point? The results are already skewed because he puts the Starfleet officers on the “good” team to start with, instead of waiting to see which side they choose. Then he’s disappointed because they end up using the same methods as the evil guys? Doesn’t intent matter? How about the fact that the captain compassionately wants to rescue Surak even when it puts them in more danger? This is not a fair test–far more of a no-win scenario than the Kobayashi Maru ever was. Offering one group power for participating while threatening to kill the Enterprise crew is also not exactly good sportsmanship–not to mention the fact that everyone but Kirk and Spock are plants. Er, rocks. You know what I mean.
And who are these rock guys to be judging other people anyway? They have power, but they’re cold and stone-hearted. Why not just admit that they aren’t doing this from a “need to know new things,” but as a form of entertainment? I’m guessing things aren’t too thrilling on a lava planet; they don’t get a lot of tourists, especially if they keep forcing them to fight each other. If they were just a little more friendly, their hot springs could have made them into a vacation getaway for the Federation.
But hey, I did enjoy much of this one, particularly Lincoln’s reception on Enterprise. I was impressed with how Kirk handled one of the oddest situations he’s ever encountered, and honored the image of Lincoln; he’s had quite a year, hobnobbing with famous artists and musicians, and now a distinguished U.S. President and the father of Vulcan philosophy. Lee Bergere’s performance was also wonderful. I don’t know if he acted anything like Lincoln, but his dialogue was well written and delivered. He pretty much looked the part too, except for one scene where he looked like a zombie, appropriately enough. But Lincoln also bothered me, because there were strange holes in his memory–he knows everyone on the ship, even that it’s a starship, but nothing about transporters or dilithium crystals? Why? Actually, why any of the charade in the first place?
But the crew performs fairly well throughout. By now they know not to take what’s in front of them at face value. McCoy and Scotty’s objections to Kirk’s plan are just as valid as his reasons for ignoring them. They make a lot of sense, but I love that Kirk reminds them that part of their mission is to “seek out new life.” The rock man argues that this is a trait they share–justifying his actions as a means of gaining knowledge. In fact, it all reminds me of the TNG episode “Where Silence Has Lease,” where Nagilum explores the galaxy by bringing other races to him. Lazy!
My favorite moment in this episode is this exchange between Scotty and Spock:
SCOTT: Lincoln died three centuries ago on a planet hundreds of light years away. (Waves his hand in one direction.)
SPOCK: More that direction, Engineer. (Pointing the opposite way.)
And I also liked Kirk’s offhand recommendation to “disengage the nacelles and jettison,” the second time it’s implied that the ship can separate its saucer section as Enterprise-D does several times. It would be great to see that happen, and I wonder if anyone has tried it in one of the fan-produced web series yet. Perhaps I could write that episode… (Nudge nudge, wink wink.)
The episode also shamed me at one point: When Lincoln refers to Uhura as a “charming negress” I winced, but then Uhura’s response, that people have “learned not to fear words,” left me feeling properly chastised.
Unfortunately, “The Savage Curtain” is too silly, simple, and derivative of other, better episodes to be worth recommending. The ending suggests that Kirk has learned something–that perhaps he isn’t as good as he thought and they have more work to do to bring peace to the rest of the galaxy. That would be a sobering lesson, if he weren’t smiling and swaggering on the Bridge like he’d just saved the universe. This story tries to be provocative, but it all comes to nothing. And because I always have at least one troubling question that may not have an answer, why the hell can Kahless do such good voice impressions? That doesn’t seem very Klingon.
Eugene Rating: Warp 2
Best Line: KIRK: Your Surak is a brave man.
SPOCK: Men of peace usually are, Captain.
Syndication Edits: None. You have to watch the whole thing.
Trivia: The introduction of Surak prompted a flood of fan mail from viewers interested in seeing more of him.
Janos Prohaska, who played the rock monster here, appeared previously as another silicon-based lifeform: the Horta in “Devil in the Dark.” He was also the mugato in “A Private Little War.”
During one of the man-fighting scenes, if you look closely, you can supposedly see Kirk’s pants split open. I didn’t notice it myself and I can’t imagine re-watching this, but if you’re so inclined…
Other notes: Several characters introduced here were explored in depth by later Star Trek incarnations: Colonel Green and Surak both popped up in Enterprise, and Kahless the Unforgettable became quite significant in the TNG/DS9 mythology.
Previous episode: Season 3, Episode 21 – “The Cloud Minders.”
Next episode: Season 3, Episode 23 – “All Our Yesterdays.” US residents can watch it for free at the CBS website.
A longer response will have to wait forwhen I am not using my phone. But for the rockheads…where the he’ll is your freaking control group?? Experiment my ass this is Alien Survivor.
About the only good thing that can be said about this episode is, “Yea, Janos Prohaska!” He was THE creature guy in the 60s and 70s and for many of us in a certain age group he will always be Cookie Bear.
When you think about it (not something anyone in production appears to have done), the very fact that the rock man knows he has to use power to motivate the bad guys and a threat to others to motivate the good guys is pretty clear evidence that they already understand the concept of good and evil.
In a scenario like this, it wouldn’t be a bad thing to have Lincoln on your team. He was quite the bad-ass in his younger days. Really strong and those long arms gave him great leverage. He once beat the crap out of the biggest tough in town and made him stop terrorizing the townsfolk.
Speaking of historical people, to a very large percentage of the population of Earth, Genghis Khan is a hero, not a villain. Heck, an honest examination of his reign might even put him more on the good side than evil.
My guess is that Roddenberry’s story contribution was a scribbled note in his file of show ideas from years before they filmed a single episode. Then they brought in a script barber-surgeon and this was the result.
Yay! I actually have always enjoyed this episode, stupid though it is, for its pure space opera silliness, and in this time, for the way it kinda predicts reality TV (put people in an artificially unpleasant/dangerous situation, make conflict with others, step 3: profit!).
I always liked this episode. OK, it’s off the wall as far as premise goes, but the lava monster is pretty cool–better than the ‘shit on the forehead’ aliens we tended to get in TNG. Kick-ass Abe Lincoln was just damn awesome. (Plus he went on to play guitar in my favorite Trek Punk band.)
I must admit that even as a kid it bugged me that Kahless was in current Klingon drag (also I just realized that this episode belies the Enterprise explanation of the forehead ridges.)
I gotta give it a solid Warp 3. It’s stupid fun, but at least it’s fun.
“He cites Vulcan foreign policy examples of how the first diplomats were always killed, but eventually a long-lasting peace was established.”
I just figured out how to make First Contact awesome!
@4 ChurchHatesTucker
I just figured out how to make First Contact awesome!
They’ve already done what you seem to be suggesting. http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/In_a_Mirror,_Darkly_%28episode%29 The opening tease of the Enterprise (NX-01) encounter with the Mirror Universe is a retelling of the end of First Contact.
This episode commits a worse sin that stupidity and vapid plot, and worse sin than even the endless re-use of the space douche testing our hero trope, this episode was just boring.
A good chunk of the episode seemed to be showing off how great people in the Federation were and how much better they are than the people at home watching the show. Boring.
End the conclusion? Evil runs away when forcibly confronted? That was silly and I think just invented as a way to get themselves out of the hole the writers dug themselves into. Let’s not forget that they have — supposedly — four really evil and competent bad asses on that stage, men and a woman, who commanded armies, forged nations, and bent lesser beings to their will, yet what we get is one slimy white dude who really isn’t that charismatic ordering the others around and a Klingon who’s talented with his mouth.
Frankly if there any real aspect that runs across evil it is the aspect of ‘does not play well with others’ including other evil. I don;t see the others just nodding and following Green off his stupidity cliff. (Next to The Cliffs Of Insanity and sadly more visited.)
At least the aliens looked alien and I liked that, but they make piss poor scientists.
Personally I preferred Red Dwarf‘s take on the concept, which featured Abraham Lincoln fighting alongside Gandhi, Elvis and Winnie the Pooh.
In this case I have to agree with…[drum roll]…CaitieCait! C’mon, this episode was a lot of silly fun. And the interaction between Lincoln and Kirk was terrific. I felt a real connection to old Abe. This is one of those episodes that never fails to amuse me.
In this case I have to agree with…[drum roll]…CaitieCait!
Uh-oh! Someone agreed with me, I think that’s the sixth sign, isn’t it?
My favorite part of the episode — the one thing that seemed like real Trek, but was SO VERY much what Star Trek is about —
Surak saying “I am pleased to see we have differences,” and actually seeming to mean it. That’s totally the core of the future, and why Vulcans are so much more advanced than we earth-men.
Incidentally, I find it very difficult to believe the lava monsters came up with all of this technological sophistication without establishing even the most basic ideas about proper social behavior (which, let’s face it, that’s what “good” and “evil” really boils down to). If they *seriously don’t get* why you shouldn’t go around killing people, I don’t think they would’ve been able to sublimate conflict enough to build a transporter, much less mystically reincarnate Abraham Lincoln from Kirk’s fanboy mental image. (Incidentally, maybe that’s why he was short? Captain Jim just couldn’t cope with an imaginary Lincoln who was taller than him?)
Also agreed on Genghis Khan getting a bad rap. Pax Mongolica, and the cultural transfer it prompted, were a tremendous force of cultural development for the entire Eurasian continent. That was really, really significant. Also, even with the violent conquest, he was probably less of a dick than whoever else was in charge in central Europe. Just saying.
This one’s mostly a remake of “Spectre of the Gun,” only less sensible… if such a thing is possible.
If the rock creatures have created the bad guys and good guys from the minds and records of the Enterprise crew, how is their “experiment” anything more than a tautology? They only learn what they’d already assembled.
Wow. I have very little to add. Really!
The whole thing was like a typical Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea episode. It made no logical sense; it didn’t hang together in any reasonable way. There just wasn’t any there there.
‘Arena’, ‘The Squire of Gothos’ — hell, even ‘The Gamesters of Triskelion’ and ‘The Empath’ had some semblance of reason to them. This had nothing. And the bad guys weren’t even all that bad! Colonel Green? What about Hitler? or at least Himmler or Goebbels? And was the founder of the Klingon Empire really an evil monster, or was he just your standard militarist and empire-builder? And, yeah, Genghis Khan! I mean, who wrote this stuff? (Okay, okay, they told us who wrote it, but do you really believe the perps would actually admit it?)
I, too, liked the bits where Lincoln comes aboard the ship, and Kirk and the crew humour him, with dress uniforms and appropriate ruffles and flourishes. And I loved Uhura’s response to the ‘negress’ line; damn, I want to live in that world. I see that as a candidate for best line — or at least best thought — in the entire series. Shame it had to be part of such a crap episode.
But. Lessee … do I have anything unique to add?
No, not really. Better than some, but it sucked.
“Do you still measure time in minutes?”
“We can convert to it, sir.”
The hell?
Not to mention Spock’s “Six hundred forty three miles, two thousand twenty one feet, two point zero four inches at this moment, using your old-style measurements.” Bah.
ccradio @13 has a point. The use of our standard time system had been fully established by this point in the series.
I had to take a bit to think about this episode. While there are a few lines that I like in it, I’d have to say that this one is not one I’d go out of my way to see again. The exchange between Lincoln and Uhura has stuck with me through the years but I think my favorite line was Lincoln saying “For an illusion, my opponent had a pretty good punch – oh, that’s right, you consider me to be an illusion too.” (Or something like that.)
I’m surprised no one has mentioned this episode’s main contribution to popular culture – “Help me, Spock” as used by the ‘bots in MST3K.
@5 Ludon Huh. I don’t remember that. I may have missed the teaser when it aired, although I do remember the alternate opening (then again, that was a two-parter, so I may be remembering the second opening.)
@13 ccradio I suppose a lot of things are considered ‘translated’ for convenience of the audience, otherwise you end up with “centons” and the like. Still, it is poor form to lampshade it like that.
@ 1 bobsandiego
I was thinking The Deadliest Warrior myself.
@ 2 DemetriosX
Lincoln was indeed pretty badass, and to be fair, he DID wrestle. But probably not Genghis Khan.
@ 3 CatieCat
A friend in television once explained to me that the preponderance of reality TV is purely economical. It’s not that it gets better ratings than other shows–it’s just so much cheaper to produce, what with free actors and no production value.
@ 4 ChurchHatesTucker
But First Contact is already awesome! And apparently the appearance of the Kahless is “explained” by the fact that he’s been created from the image in Kirk’s and Spock’s minds, not from reality.
@ 6 bobsandiego
The “evil runs away when forcibly confronted” line really bothered me, too. Insultingly simplified and idealistic. That’s not all it takes.
@ 8 Mercurio
It’s precisely my respect for old Abe that makes me hate this episode. He deserves better!
@ 11 Lemnoc
That’s an interesting point. I mean, the idea is that they’re learning about good and evil from Kirk and Spock–the rest are just set pieces to provoke the instincts of our heroes. But like Eugene says, if they can scan their minds and come up with this whole charade, can’t they already tell from their little internal livejournals that Kirk & Spock are good and that they’ve fought evil before?
@ 12 NomadUK
Agreed on all points.
@ 13 ccradio
Haha, that caught me off guard, too. Talk about forgetting your own history. Reminds me of an episode late in the X-Files run when Mulder says “I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist!” Um, yes he was–that was his entire character background! Sigh. Lazy.
“Evil runs away when forcibly confronted.” What a cop out. Tell that to anyone who unwisely took that advice (often dished out by parents) and stood up to a schoolyard bully.
Torie @16:
The main thing is that they don’t have to pay writers. They do have to pay the onscreen people, but less than scale, I believe. It’s the writers that are the big deal.
But it’s a stupid savings. Where’s the aftermarket? Seriously, does anybody really want to rewatch a random season of Survivor or American Idol? But DVDs of some 2-season 1970s sitcom that had maybe 12 viewers when it originally aired will sell like mad. The prevailing wisdom used to be get 100 episodes and you could get syndication and that was where the real money is. I would suppose syndication has been replaced by video sales, but nobody thinks that far ahead anymore.
@ 18 DemetriosX
True, but it’s not just writers. You need production designers, costumers, propmakers–they’re all expensive.
Re: aftermarket, I wonder that myself, but I think the numbers heavily favor on-air TV. Let’s do some completely out-of-thin-air back-of-the-napkin math. The average 30-second spot for a primetime TV show is something around 350k-500k, right? If you’ve got 15 minutes of ads per show, that’s 30 ads, but some of them are just promos for the network. Let’s say there are only 20 paid ads per show. That means one airing rakes in between 7 and 10 million. Multiply that by 20 episodes or however long the average season is,,, and that’s a lot more than you could probably ever make on DVDs.
Torie @19: Yeah, but aftermarket sales are on top of advertising income. If the show airs, it’s going to have advertising. The question is whether or not the aftermarket sales are more than the savings from not having to hire all those other people. And depending on the sort of reality show, a lot of those people – other than the writers – are still there. You still have the studio and whatnot for the hosts, props for more contest oriented shows, bug wranglers, etc. It’s really just short-term thinking and not having to deal with pesky writers that can’t be pushed around like a lot of those other people. And, of course, not having to pay out all those royalty checks.
@3 CaitieCait
I agree, there’s something very charming about this episode. But I think “Bread and Circuses” did an even better job of predicting reality TV, or at least American Gladiators.
@4 ChurchHatesTucker
Oh yes, No Kill I. Lincoln obviously picked up some guitar skills from Wyld Stallyns.
@7 Matt Stevens
I’m still haunted by the idea of Pooh facing a firing squad.
@10 DeepThought
Yeah, I really liked Surak and how genuine he was, and how Kirk supported his decision even though he didn’t agree with it.
@13 ccradio
Right? Where did that stuff come from? It’s like someone got carried away with the whole “this is the future” thing, unless they were just messing with Lincoln.
@18 DemetriosX
Actually, I’d like to get my hands on an old season of Road Rules, but only for the purposes of researching a novel…
Torie and DemetriosX,
For a scathing (and hilarious) riff on the vapidity of reality TV by a genius writer, read the last of the Dortmunder novels by the late great Donald E. Westlake. It’s called Get Real. If you haven’t read the Dortmunder novels before, you might want to pause to read all of the other ones first, starting with the classic The Hot Rock.
you what doesn’t make any sense at all?? If there historical characters are merely copies made from the hot natives, then why would they need to be promised ‘power’ as a motivator? And if they aren’t imitations via living lava, then these douches can freakin’ resurrect people.
There was one bit of dialogue in James Blish’s adaptation of the episode that I wish they’d kept in the episode. After Lincoln calls Uhura a charming negress, I believe the exchange continues as filmed. But after Uhura states that they’ve learned not to fear words, Uhura makes a comment that in fact she prefers her coloring to that of Linclon’s or the captain’s. This worries Lincoln who says, “Then the old problems do still exist?”. It is after that bit of dialogue that Kirk says that they’ve all learned to be delighted with what they are. In that context, Kirk’s line makes a bit more sense. I would take that as another expression of IDIC.
I have no proof of this, but I believe that exchange was filmed, but deleted, as there seems to be a bit of editing in that scene. This could’ve been for considerations of time, but more likely content. At the time this was airing, the civil rights movment was in full swing, and there was violence in the streets. A line like that might have been seen by less educated minds as incendiary. A shame, since it made the dialogue make a bit more sense, and made a strong point.
I always liked this episode. When I was in third grade, two of my favorite things were Abraham Lincoln and Star Trek, so seeing Abraham Lincoln in a floating armchair on the viewscreen of the starship Enterprise made perfect sense.
Like most of the third season, this episode is more like a kid-oriented comic book (think the ’70s Gold Key Star Trek comics, or ’60s-era titles like Challengers of the Unknown) than the more serious, adult-oriented, literary first season. This makes sense when you think of what else was on TV at the time: Irwin Allen productions like Lost In Space, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, and Time Tunnel. (Batman had just been cancelled the previous season). Under Fred Freiburger, Star Trek seemed to be adopt the less serious, more kid-friendly tone of these shows.
Given that reality, I think this episode is pretty good. There is a “serious” philosophical topic (ends vs. means, violence vs. non-violence), of which both sides are well presented (by Lincoln and Surak, respectively), with Kirk acknowledging the validity of both viewpoints. As cartoonish as this episode is, and as implausible the premise, it still manages to have more depth than any Lost In Space episode.
Here’s a video that includes the clip in question where Kirk splits his pants:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tjofvZBXwY
Also, regarding all the “is Genghis Khan good or evil” talk. Episodes 43 through 47 of Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History podcast are all about Genghis Khan and his successors. The series is, fittingly enough, called “Wrath of the Khans”, and it’s still recent enough to be in the free-to-listen portion of his archive, as of this posting. It’s been awhile since I listened, and I can’t remember every detail (each episode is several hours long). He doesn’t definitively come out and say that he thinks Genghis Khan was evil per se, but the thrust of his argument is that the millions that were killed by the Khan’s armies couldn’t care less that he “united the world” or “improved trade routes” or whatever. Anyway, he says it better than I do, and the episodes (and all of his stuff, really) is worth a listen. :)