space douches Archive

11

Star Trek Animated Series Re-Watch: “Bem”

Bem
Written by David Gerrold
Directed by Bill Reed

Season 2, Episode 2
Production episode: 22018
Original air date:  September 14, 1974
Star date: 7403.6

Mission summary

Enterprise is hosting a very special guest: Ari bn Bem, a representative for the Federation’s new friends,  the Pandronians. He’s there to observe the crew, but he seems fairly disinterested in their mission of exploration until they arrive at Delta Theta III to investigate reports of aboriginal life.

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12

Star Trek Animated Series Re-Watch: “The Magicks of Megas-Tu”

The Magicks of Megas-Tu
Written by Larry Brody
Directed by Hal Sutherland

Season 1, Episode 8
Production episode: 22009
Original air date: October 27, 1973
Star date: 1254.4

 

Mission summary

It’s Science Day on Enterprise! The ship takes a jaunt to the center of the galaxy to see what might still be cooking at the site of the Big Bang. Spock warns them that they may “encounter forces and phenomena beyond our understanding,” and sure enough, the ship blunders into the middle of a fireworks and laser light show.

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19

Star Trek: The Animated Series Re-Watch: “Beyond the Farthest Star”

Beyond the Farthest Star
Written by Samuel A. Peeples
Directed by Hal Sutherland

Season 1, Episode 1
Production episode: 2204
Original air date:  September 8, 1973
Star date: 5221.3

Mission summary

The Enterprise is on a star-charting mission near Questar M-17 when strange radio transmissions persuade Kirk to investigate. Since no good deed goes unpunished, a hypergravitational mumblemumble draws the tiny ship full speed into the dead star’s surface. The ship manages to change its trajectory enough to avoid impact and achieve a standard orbit, but once in orbit our heroes are surprised to find another ship orbiting with them. This new ship isn’t sleek and modern, but tentacled and organic-looking–a kind of pod ship. It’s the source of the radio transmissions. Spock discovers that they’re much too late to help. The pod ship has been there, drifting, for over 300 million years.

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31

Star Trek Re-Watch: “The Cage”

The Cage
Written by Gene Roddenberry
Directed by Robert Butler

Original Pilot
Production episode: 1
Original air date: October 4, 1988
Star date: Unknown

Mission summary

Without any helpful narration over the opening credits, or even some kind of “captain’s log,” it’s hard to tell just what’s going on here. This ship, which is called U.S.S. Enterprise, seems to be on a mission in space. The duration of its voyage and its purpose is unclear, but my instincts tell me the crew is seeking out new life and new civilizations, or vice versa, as the case might be. But they’re certainly going where no one has gone before.

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26

Star Trek Re-Watch: “The Savage Curtain”

The Savage Curtain
Teleplay by Arthur Heinemann and Gene Roddenberry
Story by Gene Roddenberry
Directed by Herschel Daugherty

Season 3, Episode 22
Production episode: 3×22
Original air date: March 7, 1969
Star date: 5906.4

Mission summary

The Enterprise is in orbit around a molten lava-coated and poisonous planet that nonetheless reads carbon-based life. Seems like a classic mission for our bunch, but unfortunately the mysteries of Excalbia will have to go unexplored because the molten planetary surface isn’t suitable for a landing party. Just as Kirk turns that starship right around so no one can go to Mordor, the Enterprise jumps to red alert: they’re being scanned. “A deep probe, incredibly swift,” Spock says (miraculously without giggling).

On the viewscreen, a man in a black suit, seated in a leather chair, and wearing a stovepipe hat appears to float.

ALIEN THING: No need to check your voice telegraph device. Do I gather that you recognize me?
KIRK: I recognize what you appear to be.
ALIEN THING: And appearances can be most deceiving, but not in this case, James Kirk. I am Abraham Lincoln.

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50

Star Trek Re-Watch: “The Empath”

The Empath
Written by Joyce Muskat
Directed by John Erman

Season 3, Episode 12
Production episode: 3×08
Original air date: December 6, 1968
Star date: 5121.5

Mission summary

Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are on the second planet around the star Minara, doomed to nova in classic stars-nova-left-and-right Star Trek style. A research crew was dispatched there six months ago to take some last minute readings, but now that the Enterprise has arrived with their ticket out of there no one’s around. The station is covered in dust and cobwebs and hasn’t been inhabited in at least three months. Scotty, at the Enterprise’s helm, alerts the captain that a solar flare is about to dump cosmic plot device rays that force the ship to retreat a safe distance from the planet, leaving the trio all alone.

As soon as our heroes are stuck and the Enterprise is out of range, they play a videotape lying around. In it, two scientists bitch and moan about “this godforsaken place”–which seems to have infuriated some locals, because a high-pitched screech and cheesy camera effect later, both scientists have disappeared into the ether. Then Kirk, Spock, and McCoy hear the same sound themselves and in just moments, vanish one by one.

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40

Star Trek Re-Watch: “Day of the Dove”

Day of the Dove
Written by Jerome Bixby
Directed by Marvin Chomsky

Season 3, Episode 7
Production episode: 3×11
Original air date: November 1, 1968
Star date: Armageddon

 

Mission summary

An Enterprise landing party beams down to planet Beta XII-A with phasers drawn, responding to a distress call from a Federation colony that they can’t find. Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, Ensign Chekov, and the redshirt are oblivious to the glowing mass of energy hovering suspiciously nearby, instead focusing on the Klingon battle cruiser that arrives on the scene.

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45

Star Trek Re-Watch: “Spectre of the Gun”

Spectre of the Gun
Written by Lee Cronin
Directed by Vincent McEveety

Season 3, Episode 6
Production episode: 3×01
Original air date: October 25, 1968
Star date:4385.3

Mission summary

En route to establish relations with the Melkotians–a reclusive, papier-mâché-mask-wearing race–the Enterprise is intercepted by a space buoy with a very serious warning:

Aliens, you have encroached on the space of the Melkot. You will turn back immediately. This is the only warning you will receive.

Kirk hears it in English, but Spock hears it in Vulcan, Chekov hears it in Russian, and Uhura hears it in Swahili. It’s using some kind of telepathy to communicate to all of them. Though he understands the message perfectly, Kirk decides to disregard it pretty much immediately because “Our orders are very clear. We’re to establish contact with the Melkotians at all costs.”

Involuntary peace ahoy!

After some failed attempts at hailing them, Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, and Chekov beam down to what they think is the planet, but is actually just a giant fog machine because planets are expensive. Worse, they quickly discover that their communicators no longer work and the Melkotians don’t like trespassers. A Melkotian appears and calls the men “outside, a disease,” and says that because Kirk ordered his crew to do this thing, “yours shall be the pattern of your death.”

They are then instantly transported to a low-budget, flimsy Hollywood set of the Old West.

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64

Star Trek Re-Watch: “And The Children Shall Lead”

And The Children Shall Lead
Written by Edward J. Lakso
Directed by Marvin Chomsky

Season 3, Episode 4
Production episode: 3×05
Original air date: October 11, 1968
Star date: 4842.6

Mission summary

Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy beam down to Triacus, an isolated Federation outpost. They find sprawled out on the ground each of the adult members of the exploration party. Most appear dead, but one of them moves: it’s Starnes, who looks like he had a very bad night. Shaking and sweating furiously, he fails to recognize Kirk, says something about “the enemy within,” and then promptly collapses on the ground dead. Hmm. Upon closer inspection one woman has a vial in her mouth–some kind of poison. All seem to have died by their own hands.

All except five young children, who rush out and demand that our heroes play games with them. Tommy, Mary, Steve, Ray, and Don rush to Kirk, link hands together, and dance around him while singing “Ring Around the Rosie.” Twice.

Captain Kirk thinks he may now understand why the adults shuffled off this mortal coil.

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25

Star Trek 2 Villain Rumors: It’s Probably Not General Zod

As development ramps up on the untitled sequel to the 2009 Star Trek reboot film, plot and casting rumors are as inevitable as Vulcan ponn farr. J.J. Abrams, Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, and Damon Lindelof are still working on the script, but people are already conjecturing about the possible storylines and characters we’ll see as early as June 2012.

The latest revelations, according to Trekmovie.com and Badass News, dangle the possibility of a classic Trek antagonist challenging the crew of the Enterprise. It seems many fans would happily go where we’ve gone before with a modern take on “Space Seed” and the return of a pre-wrathful Khan Noonien Singh. I think that would be a mistake given the iconic nature of Ricardo Montalban’s performance and the fact that the original Star Trek II has pretty big boots to fill. Come to think of it, “Space Seed” itself is a tough act to follow.

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