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Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Vengeance Factor”

– February 28, 2013 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

thevengeancefactor191 “The Vengeance Factor”
Written by Sam Rolfe
Directed by Timothy Bond

Season 3, Episode 9
Original air date: November 20, 1989
Star date: 43421.9

Mission summary

After discovering a ransacked Starfleet research facility–evidence of encroaching raids from a group of Acamarians called the Gatherers–Picard decides to do something about this problem once and for all. Enterprise sets out for Acamar III, where he meets with the leader of the ruling group of Acamarians, Sovereign Marouk.

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Tags: diplomacy, emotional women, everyone loves riker, handwaving mumblemumble, immortality, loyalty, mysteries, planetary conflict, set phasers to kill, sexy ladies, slavery, were they drunk when they threw this one together?

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Dauphin”

Torie Atkinson

– August 23, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Dauphin”
Written by Scott Rubenstein & Leonard Mlodinow
Directed by Rob Bowman

Season 2, Episode 10
Original air date: February 20, 1989
Star date: 42568.8

Mission summary

The Enterprise picks up two mysterious otherworlders: a teenager and head of state named Salia, and her overbearing, somewhat slithery governess Anya. Troi thinks the two may not be what they seem, but can’t offer any more details or else it’ll ruin the twist. The two are headed to their home planet of Daled IV after a long period of exile. Salia’s parents were on opposite sides of a massive civil war that has engulfed the planet. They died shortly after her birth, and now it’s up to the dauphin to start the healing. Unfortunately she’s been in isolation her whole life and has built up a swell of hormones, so a chance encounter with Wesley and his superconductive magnet sparks a powerful attraction*.

*Believe it or not, I didn’t write this stuff.

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Tags: emotional women, Guinan has all the answers, lady-wrestling, loneliness, sexy ladies, true wuv, wesley has a crush, wesley is oblivious to girls

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “11001001”

Eugene Myers

– March 1, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“11001001”
Written by Maurice Hurley and Robert Lewin
Directed by Paul Lynch

Season 1, Episode 15
Original air date: February 1, 1988
Star date: 41365.9

Mission summary

Enterprise reports to Starbase 74 for its 30,000 light year service inspection and upgrades, to be performed by Bynars, aliens who work in linked pairs and are connected to a central computer on their homeworld. Commander Riker doesn’t completely trust them, but he’s content to leave Wesley to keep an eye on them after the alien computer whizzes modify the holodeck and program up his dream girl: a woman named Minuet who tells him exactly what he wants to hear.

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Tags: aliens take over the ship, big heads, bynars, child-like aliens, computers, everyone loves riker, holodeck, painting, sexy ladies, wesley endangers the ship

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Angel One”

Torie Atkinson

– February 23, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“Angel One”
Written by Patrick Barry
Directed by Michael Rhodes

Season 1, Episode 14
Original air date: January 25, 1988
Star date: 41636.9

Mission summary

The Enterprise stumbles upon the remains of the Odin, a small freighter that collided with an asteroid seven years previous. While there are no life signs onboard, three escape pods are missing. The nearest class M planet where any survivors may have landed is Angel I, a matriarchal constitutional oligarchy with whom the Federation last had contact sixty-two years ago.

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Tags: everyone loves riker, half-naked man-chests, matriarchy, oh look what I found on the Paramount lot, oh the sexism it burns, patriarchy, romulans, sexism, sexy doom, sexy ladies, snoo-snoo, stop using sex as a weapon, troi is useless, very special episode, weird sexual politics, wesley endangers the ship

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Big Goodbye”

Torie Atkinson

– February 9, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Big Goodbye”
Written by Tracy Tormé
Directed by Joseph L. Scanlan

Season 1, Episode 12
Original air date: January 11, 1988
Star date: 41997.7

Mission summary

The Enterprise is en route to meet the Jarada, an insectoid species whose punctilious nature makes it difficult for the Federation to establish friendly relations. The Jarada must be greeted by the captain (and the captain alone) in their native tongue with no errors. Any failure on Picard’s part will result in unspeakable consequences. Despite another lengthy cram session with Counselor Troi (reknowned exolinguist?), Picard is at an impasse. Troi suggests he take his mind off the Jaradans for a while and try out the latest holodeck upgrades. Recess! Picard brightens immediately and agrees that a 1940s hard-boiled crime game is just the thing to take the edge off.

He begins the program of “Dixon Hill,” a sort of 1940s Philip Marlowe-cum-Sherlock Holmes, and discovers a beautiful woman sitting in Hill’s–his–office. Picard’s mildly interested in her flirting but is more fascinated by the cars zooming by outside the window. He only half-listens to her pleas for safety; she’s convinced she’s about to be murdered. But Picard’s really got to be getting back, so he puts the program on hold and calls a staff meeting to tell everyone what an awesome show this holodeck thingy is and I guess there’s some diplomatic thing he should be worried about but LOOK CARS DID YOU SEE THEM? He invites a 20th century historian and Dr. Crusher to join him next time. My instincts tell me it still doesn’t excuse them from the company retreat, but maybe it’ll look good on next year’s review.

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Tags: death traps, dixon hill, handwaving mumblemumble, holodeck, illusions, mysteries, noir, not everyone loves riker, oh god it's real, sexy ladies, Wesley is a smartypants, wesley saves the day, why would anyone ever go into a holodeck

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Justice”

Torie Atkinson

– January 12, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“Justice”
Teleplay by Worley Thorne
Story by Ralph Willis and Worley Thorne
Directed by James L. Conway

Season 1, Episode 8
Original air date: November 9, 1987
Star date: 41255.6

Mission summary

After settling some colonists in the Strnad solar system, the Enterprise comes across a Eden-like M-class planet called Edo in the adjoining star system. A small away team has been down to make contact, and the locals are party animals. LaForge describes the Edo as “wild in some ways, actually puritanical in others. Neat as pins, ultra-lawful, and make love at the drop of a hat.” While Riker’s already got his bag packed, Picard thinks there must be some negatives. He allows a small party–including Wesley Crusher, for some reason–to beam down to test the place’s suitability for shore leave, but warns that they should “just hope it’s not too good to be true.”

Right on cue, the sensors start to go crazy–it’s reading that something else is in orbit around Edo, but no one can see it. Oh well. Nothing worth getting in the way of hot sex, right?

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Tags: APPDEB, awful costumes, bad costumes, bad history, eden, Garden of Eden, godlike powers, horrible horrible children, justice, sexy ladies, silly costumes, skimpy costumes, space douches, the boy, the gods must be crazy, were they drunk when they threw this one together?, wesley endangers the ship, why did this have to happen to our beloved legacy

Re-Watching Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Eugene Myers & Torie Atkinson

– October 6, 2011 8:00 amPosted in: Movies

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Screenplay by: Harold Livingston
Story by: Alan Dean Foster
Produced by: Gene Roddenberry
Directed by: Robert Wise

Release date: December 7, 1979
Stardate: 7410.2

Mission Summary

A giant space cloud, impervious to conventional weapons but massively destructive, is headed straight for Earth. Naturally the Enterprise, fresh from a renovation, is the only ship in interception range. Admiral Kirk temporarily takes control of the ship from its captain, Captain Decker, and reassembles his old crew–including Spock, who just failed to complete the Kolinahr–to confront the cloud.

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Tags: alien probes, best music ever, breeding, computers, distinct lack of half-naked man-wrestling, godlike powers, kirk is a jerk, klingons, moby dick, Nomad, sexy ladies, transporter malfunction, wormhole, yawn

Star Trek: The Animated Series Re-Watch: “The Lorelei Signal”

Eugene Myers & Torie Atkinson

– June 2, 2011 8:00 amPosted in: Animated Series Re-Watch

“The Lorelei Signal”
Written by Margaret Armen
Directed by Hal Sutherland

Season 1, Episode 4
Production episode: 22006
Original air date: September 29, 1973
Star date: 5483.7

Mission summary

Enterprise tempts fate by visiting an unfamiliar region of space where Federation ships have been disappearing for the past 150 years. A hot tip from the Klingons and Romulans reveals that ships disappear like clockwork, every 27.346 “star years,” give or take.

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Tags: handwaving mumblemumble, immortality sucks, nurse chapel rocks, premature aging, psychokinesis, sexism, sexy ladies, singing, transporter magic, uhura rocks

Star Trek Re-Watch: “The Cage”

Eugene Myers & Torie Atkinson

– April 15, 2011 8:00 amPosted in: TOS Re-Watch

“The Cage”
Written by Gene Roddenberry
Directed by Robert Butler

Original Pilot
Production episode: 1
Original air date: October 4, 1988
Star date: Unknown

Mission summary

Without any helpful narration over the opening credits, or even some kind of “captain’s log,” it’s hard to tell just what’s going on here. This ship, which is called U.S.S. Enterprise, seems to be on a mission in space. The duration of its voyage and its purpose is unclear, but my instincts tell me the crew is seeking out new life and new civilizations, or vice versa, as the case might be. But they’re certainly going where no one has gone before.

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Tags: big heads, breeding, captain pike, eggheads, emotional Spock, engage, first!, freedom, fully clothed man-wrestling, illusions, man must be free, number one, parables, pilot, sexy ladies, slavery, space douches

Star Trek Re-Watch: “All Our Yesterdays”

Eugene Myers & Torie Atkinson

– March 10, 2011 8:00 amPosted in: TOS Re-Watch

“All Our Yesterdays”
Written by Jean Lisette Aroeste
Directed by Marvin Chomsky

Season 3, Episode 23
Production episode: 3×23
Original air date: March 14, 1969
Star date: 5943.7

Mission summary

Enterprise arrives at Sarpeidon three-and-a-half hours before its star, Beta Niobe, goes supernova, only to discover that the planet has already been evacuated. Where everyone has gone is anyone’s guess, since Sarpeidon hadn’t yet discovered space travel. A strong power reading on the surface leads Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy to some sort of archive, where they are greeted by an old librarian, Mr. Atoz. The poor guy is so happy to have patrons to serve, he doesn’t even notice they’re out-of-towners or bother to check their library cards. Kirk asks him where everyone went, but Atoz is too senile or focused on helping them to give him a straight answer.

ATOZ: It depended on the individual, of course. If you wish to trace a specific person, I’m sorry, but that information is confidential.
MCCOY: No, no particular person, just people in general. Where did they go?
ATOZ: Ah, you find it difficult to choose, is that it? Yes, a wide range of alternatives is a mixed blessing, but perhaps I can help. Would you step this way, please?

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