emotional women Archive

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Most Toys”

– August 1, 2013 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Most Toys”
Written by Shari Goodhartz
Directed by Timothy Bond

Season 3, Episode 22
Original air date: May 7, 1990
Star date: 43872.2

Mission summary

There’s a tricyanate contamination on Beta Agni II, and the only cure is ~~more cowbell~~ hytritium, a rare and volatile element that only one man in the universe seems to have: Kivas Fajo, a space trader. On the last transport to the Enterprise, Data uses his thumbprint to confirm the transaction and the datapad zaps him. Fajo’s men (and woman) plant fake Data elements on the transport, launch it out of the shuttle bay, and blow it up. Stunned, the Enterprise crew believe that Data’s been destroyed, but have to high-tail it to Beta Agni II if they want to decontaminate that water supply in time to save the planet.

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Tags: androids, emotional women, geordi has a really bad day, handwaving mumblemumble, mysteries, shakespeare, slavery, space shylock, transporter malfunction, were they drunk when they threw this one together?, why did this have to happen to our beloved legacy

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “A Matter of Perspective”

Torie Atkinson

– April 4, 2013 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“A Matter of Perspective”
Written by Ed Zuckerman
Directed by Cliff Bole

Season 3, Episode 14
Original air date: February 12, 1990
Star date: 43610.4

Mission summary

Data interrupts Picard’s art class to tell him that they’ve arrived at Tenuga IV and also that Picard couldn’t paint his way out of a Rothko. It seems Riker and La Forge conducted a survey of Dr. Apgar’s work on Krieger waves, which they hope will become a new energy source. La Forge says in so many words that Riker surveyed someone just a little too intimately and is in a rush to return. But as he beams back, Dr. Apgar’s science station explodes, and Riker barely makes it home intact.

But his luck isn’t meant to last, because an Inspector Krag beams aboard and arrests Riker… for murder.

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Tags: emotional women, fully clothed man-wrestling, handwaving mumblemumble, holodeck, holodreck, mysteries, not everyone loves riker, science!, troi is useless

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Vengeance Factor”

Eugene Myers

– February 28, 2013 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

thevengeancefactor191 “The Vengeance Factor”
Written by Sam Rolfe
Directed by Timothy Bond

Season 3, Episode 9
Original air date: November 20, 1989
Star date: 43421.9

Mission summary

After discovering a ransacked Starfleet research facility–evidence of encroaching raids from a group of Acamarians called the Gatherers–Picard decides to do something about this problem once and for all. Enterprise sets out for Acamar III, where he meets with the leader of the ruling group of Acamarians, Sovereign Marouk.

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Tags: diplomacy, emotional women, everyone loves riker, handwaving mumblemumble, immortality, loyalty, mysteries, planetary conflict, set phasers to kill, sexy ladies, slavery, were they drunk when they threw this one together?

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Price”

Torie Atkinson

– February 21, 2013 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Price”
Written by Hannah Louise Shearer
Directed by Robert Sheerer

Season 3, Episode 8
Original air date: November 13, 1989
Star date: 43385.6

Mission summary

Troi has a fight with the replicator over chocolate, because she’s had an exhausting day or has her space period or whatever. But she can’t even enjoy it because Picard summons her to a diplomatic reception for a first look at a wormhole owned by the Barzans. The Barzan Premier, Bhavani, plans to auction off rights to the wormhole and so the Enterprise hosts delegates from several interested parties: the Federation, represented by Mendoza; the Caldonians, represented by Leyor; and the Chrysalians, represented by a humanoid named Devinoni Ral, with a sexy lady hanging off his arm. He and Troi lock eyes with the kind of vapid, sultry looks Calvin Klein models wear, making it really uncomfortable when Bhavani says “There it is, ladies and gentlemen, the first and only stable wormhole known to exist. It’s yours, for the right price. ”

I hope she means the space anomaly.

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Tags: emotional women, everyone loves riker, ferengis, hegemonic masculinity, negotiations, pick-up artists, sexism, total creepers, troi earns her paycheck, troi gets laid, women are emotional wrecks, wormholes

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Ensigns of Command”

Torie Atkinson

– January 3, 2013 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Ensigns of Command”
Written by Melinda M. Snodgrass
Directed by Cliff Bole

Season 3, Episode 2
Original air date: October 2, 1989
Star date: Unknown

Mission summary

Picard and Crusher attend Data’s first violin recital, but are called away almost immediately by a message from the Sheliak, a non-humanoid race with Javert-like punctiliousness for the rule of law. It seems the Sheliak have found humans on the planet Tau Cygna V, which they plan to colonize in four days. The humans’ presence is a violation of the Armens treaty, negotiated over 100 years ago. Picard is skeptical any life could exist on that planet because of its extreme radiation levels, but Worf confirms that life is on the planet. Riker can’t imagine more than a few dozen colonists, so Data takes a shuttlecraft to bring the strays back into the fold.

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Tags: data plays violin, data shows us that robosexuality is wrong, doomed colonies, emotional women, even space hates lawyers, how to turn data on, one day data will be a real boy, space douches

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Emissary”

Torie Atkinson

– November 8, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Emissary”
Teleplay by Richard Manning & Hans Beimler
Story by Richard Manning & Hans Beimler and Thomas H. Calder
Directed by Cliff Bole

Season 2, Episode 20
Original air date: June 29, 1989
Star date: 42901.3

Mission summary

Worf “Iceman” son of Mogh keeps winning at the weekly poker games, which is a sophisticated way of letting you know the episode’s going to be about him. Before he can clean out the bridge crew completely, however, someone pages Riker about some kind of Starfleet emergency. (Yeah, sure. I bet Riker has a panic button under that table.) Picard can’t get any answers out of Starfleet Command, but they do know that a “special emissary” stuffed in a class 8 probe will be arriving shortly to debrief them.

On schedule, a coffin-sized capsule beams aboard containing one lovely looking Klingon named K’Ehleyr. Riker greets her in Klingon but her English is impeccable. Pulaski is confused by her weird bio-readings (and her sense of humor!) and K’Ehleyr explains that she’s only half-Klingon; her mother was human. She makes her introductions pleasantly until she comes to Worf. They seem to know each other…

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Tags: angry klingons, beschdel test passed, emotional women, enemies of the klingon empire, klingons, poker, Starfleet is stupid, women nearly being awesome, worf has baggage, worf identity crisis

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Q Who”

Torie Atkinson

– October 4, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“Q Who”
Written by Maurice Hurley
Directed by Rob Bowman

Season 2, Episode 16
Original air date: May 8, 1989
Star date: 42761.3

Mission summary

The Enterprise has a new arrival: manic pixie dream girl Ensign Sonya Gomez, who tries to charm us by being polite to replicators, babbling on incoherently, and spilling hot chocolate (so much cuter than coffee) on an unsuspecting Captain Picard. The captain heads to Officers’ Quarters (really? They have their own district away from the riff-raff?) but the turbolift dumps him instead onto a familiar-looking shuttlecraft out in the deepness of space… with Q.

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Tags: awful attempts at humor, borg, emotional women, finally something good has happened to our beloved legacy, geordi's a dork, godlike powers, men being arrogant douchebags, mysteries, q, space douches, stupid women

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Dauphin”

Torie Atkinson

– August 23, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Dauphin”
Written by Scott Rubenstein & Leonard Mlodinow
Directed by Rob Bowman

Season 2, Episode 10
Original air date: February 20, 1989
Star date: 42568.8

Mission summary

The Enterprise picks up two mysterious otherworlders: a teenager and head of state named Salia, and her overbearing, somewhat slithery governess Anya. Troi thinks the two may not be what they seem, but can’t offer any more details or else it’ll ruin the twist. The two are headed to their home planet of Daled IV after a long period of exile. Salia’s parents were on opposite sides of a massive civil war that has engulfed the planet. They died shortly after her birth, and now it’s up to the dauphin to start the healing. Unfortunately she’s been in isolation her whole life and has built up a swell of hormones, so a chance encounter with Wesley and his superconductive magnet sparks a powerful attraction*.

*Believe it or not, I didn’t write this stuff.

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Tags: emotional women, Guinan has all the answers, lady-wrestling, loneliness, sexy ladies, true wuv, wesley has a crush, wesley is oblivious to girls

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Schizoid Man”

Torie Atkinson

– July 12, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Schizoid Man”
Teleplay by Tracy Tormé
Story by Richard Manning and Hans Beimler
Directed by Les Landau

Season 2, Episode 6
Original air date: January 23, 1989
Star date: 42437.5

Mission summary

The Enterprise has been sent on a priority 1 mission to assist Dr. Ira Graves, a cybernetic genius who has fallen ill and whose assistant has sent out a distress signal. But who has time for that when we can have a comic interlude! Troi and La Forge head to Data’s quarters because the android has something to show them.

LAFORGE: Did you damage your face, Data?
DATA: It is a beard, Geordi. A fine, full, dignified beard. One which commands respect and projects thoughtfulness and dignity. Well? Opinions?
TROI: It’s er, very different.
DATA: When I stroke the beard thusly, do I not appear more intellectual?
TROI: I’m sorry, I have to go now. Goodbye.

HEY COME BACK HERE. You have to sit through this, too!

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Tags: android rights, androids, brent spiner gets to act, computers, crazy scientists, Data is annoying, data is fully functional, emotion, emotional women, fear of death, handwaving mumblemumble, immortality sucks, science!, troi is useless

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Outrageous Okona”

Torie Atkinson

– June 28, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Outrageous Okona”
Teleplay by Burton Armus
Story by Les Menchen, Lance Dickson, David Landsberg
Directed by Robert Becker

Season 2, Episode 4
Original air date: December 12, 1988
Star date: 42402.7

Mission summary

As the Enterprise makes its way through a twin planetary system, it stumbles across a class 9 freighter called the Erstwhile. Onboard, a single plucky human is trying to whack the side of his guidance system to get it working again. He makes a few flat jokes and Picard, ever the humanitarian, decides to help out this disheveled, saucy “rogue”–let’s call him Sman Smolo–and asks Geordi to work on replacing the guidance system for him.

Smolo, who goes by “Okona,” beams aboard and immediately tries some lines on the lady at the transporter post:

OKONA: And thank you for beaming me here and enabling me to see a truly beautiful woman. You have the majestic carriage and loveliness that could surely be traced back to the noblest of families.
ROBINSON: Well, I’m sure that you’ve said that to many ladies before, and it was no more true then than it is now.
OKONA: But it’s how I say it that’s really important. The warmth, the attraction that I have for you. The attraction that we share.

Riker and Geordi look at one another meaningfully because it’s always funny to watch your coworkers get harassed by arrogant douches, especially when they use words like “carriage” that are probably best left to auto repair guides and not used on women. (Suspension of disbelief destroyed in 3…) Robinson is successfully seduced (…2…) and gives Okona her room number (…1! HAHA YEAH RIGHT). That lovable scamp is going to turn this place upside down, just you wait!

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