androids Archive

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Brothers”

– January 30, 2014 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“Brothers”
Written by Rick Berman
Directed by Robert Bowman

Season 4, Episode 3
Original air date: October 8, 1990
Star date: 44085.7

Mission summary

Young Jake Potts’ practical joke on his younger brother, Willie, ends in tears when Willie ends up infected with dangerous parasites. That’s it, vacation’s over! We’re turning this ship around. Enterprise has to head to a nearby starbase for emergency medical treatment, or Willie Potts might die; meanwhile, he remains in quarantine in Sickbay, utterly inconsolable. In the midst of comforting Jake, Data abruptly loses interest in the B-plot of the episode and tunes out, running through the next few scenes literally on autopilot.

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Tags: androids, asimov, belonging, brothers, daddy issues, emotions, evil doubles, family, horrible horrible children, long-lost relatives, often wrong soong, parents, robotics, someone takes over the ship, this will be important later

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Most Toys”

Torie Atkinson

– August 1, 2013 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Most Toys”
Written by Shari Goodhartz
Directed by Timothy Bond

Season 3, Episode 22
Original air date: May 7, 1990
Star date: 43872.2

Mission summary

There’s a tricyanate contamination on Beta Agni II, and the only cure is ~~more cowbell~~ hytritium, a rare and volatile element that only one man in the universe seems to have: Kivas Fajo, a space trader. On the last transport to the Enterprise, Data uses his thumbprint to confirm the transaction and the datapad zaps him. Fajo’s men (and woman) plant fake Data elements on the transport, launch it out of the shuttle bay, and blow it up. Stunned, the Enterprise crew believe that Data’s been destroyed, but have to high-tail it to Beta Agni II if they want to decontaminate that water supply in time to save the planet.

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Tags: androids, emotional women, geordi has a really bad day, handwaving mumblemumble, mysteries, shakespeare, slavery, space shylock, transporter malfunction, were they drunk when they threw this one together?, why did this have to happen to our beloved legacy

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Offspring”

Torie Atkinson

– April 25, 2013 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Offspring”
Written by René Echevarria
Directed by Jonathan Frakes

Season 3, Episode 16
Original air date: March 12, 1990
Star date: 43657.0

Mission summary

Data summons Wesley, La Forge, and Troi to his lab for some Really Big News. After a drumroll, he unveils… a thing! They’re not really sure what it is–it seems to be a Soong-type android in beta–until it calls Data “father” and Data explains that this is his child, Lal.

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Tags: android rights, androids, breeding, civil rights, everyone loves riker, fascism, immortality sucks, loneliness, parenting, Starfleet is stupid

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Contagion”

Eugene Myers

– August 30, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“Contagion”
Written by Steve Gerber & Beth Woods
Directed by Joseph L. Scanlan

Season 2, Episode 11
Original air date: March 20, 1989
Star date: 42609.1

Mission summary

Enterprise risks entering the Neutral Zone to rendezvous with her sister ship, the Yamato, which is suffering serious system malfunctions. As her dour captain Donald Varley tells them that he’s lost an engineering team and the Yamato is continuing to fall apart, Data downloads her ship logs and notices one tiny, insignificant hiccup in the process that probably doesn’t mean anything.

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Tags: advanced aliens, advanced technology, androids, archaeology rocks, computers, did you try turning it off and turning it back on again, electrocution, Iconians, magic portals, malware, romulans, tea earl grey hot, transporter malfunction, viruses

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Schizoid Man”

Torie Atkinson

– July 12, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Schizoid Man”
Teleplay by Tracy Tormé
Story by Richard Manning and Hans Beimler
Directed by Les Landau

Season 2, Episode 6
Original air date: January 23, 1989
Star date: 42437.5

Mission summary

The Enterprise has been sent on a priority 1 mission to assist Dr. Ira Graves, a cybernetic genius who has fallen ill and whose assistant has sent out a distress signal. But who has time for that when we can have a comic interlude! Troi and La Forge head to Data’s quarters because the android has something to show them.

LAFORGE: Did you damage your face, Data?
DATA: It is a beard, Geordi. A fine, full, dignified beard. One which commands respect and projects thoughtfulness and dignity. Well? Opinions?
TROI: It’s er, very different.
DATA: When I stroke the beard thusly, do I not appear more intellectual?
TROI: I’m sorry, I have to go now. Goodbye.

HEY COME BACK HERE. You have to sit through this, too!

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Tags: android rights, androids, brent spiner gets to act, computers, crazy scientists, Data is annoying, data is fully functional, emotion, emotional women, fear of death, handwaving mumblemumble, immortality sucks, science!, troi is useless

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Outrageous Okona”

Torie Atkinson

– June 28, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Outrageous Okona”
Teleplay by Burton Armus
Story by Les Menchen, Lance Dickson, David Landsberg
Directed by Robert Becker

Season 2, Episode 4
Original air date: December 12, 1988
Star date: 42402.7

Mission summary

As the Enterprise makes its way through a twin planetary system, it stumbles across a class 9 freighter called the Erstwhile. Onboard, a single plucky human is trying to whack the side of his guidance system to get it working again. He makes a few flat jokes and Picard, ever the humanitarian, decides to help out this disheveled, saucy “rogue”–let’s call him Sman Smolo–and asks Geordi to work on replacing the guidance system for him.

Smolo, who goes by “Okona,” beams aboard and immediately tries some lines on the lady at the transporter post:

OKONA: And thank you for beaming me here and enabling me to see a truly beautiful woman. You have the majestic carriage and loveliness that could surely be traced back to the noblest of families.
ROBINSON: Well, I’m sure that you’ve said that to many ladies before, and it was no more true then than it is now.
OKONA: But it’s how I say it that’s really important. The warmth, the attraction that I have for you. The attraction that we share.

Riker and Geordi look at one another meaningfully because it’s always funny to watch your coworkers get harassed by arrogant douches, especially when they use words like “carriage” that are probably best left to auto repair guides and not used on women. (Suspension of disbelief destroyed in 3…) Robinson is successfully seduced (…2…) and gives Okona her room number (…1! HAHA YEAH RIGHT). That lovable scamp is going to turn this place upside down, just you wait!

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Tags: androids, beneath guinan's dignity, cliches, Data is annoying, emotional women, excruciating jokes, extruded television product, humor, laughter, lovable rogues, sexual harassment, transparent pandering, wesley has a crush

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Elementary, Dear Data”

Eugene Myers

– June 21, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“Elementary, Dear Data”
Written by Brian Alan Lane
Directed by Rob Bowman

Season 2, Episode 3
Original air date: December 5, 1988
Star date: 42286.3

Mission summary

The crew of the Enterprise has absolutely nothing to do for a few days, so La Forge and Data decide to cosplay as Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes in the holodeck. Things seem to be off to a great start: The holographic recreation of the drawing room at 221B Baker Street is incredibly detailed, and the friends soon settle into their roles. But as soon as Inspector Lestrade arrives with a case, Data instantly recognizes the scenario as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s “A Scandal in Bohemia” and “solves” the mystery immediately. La Forge storms out, annoyed that Data has spoiled the ending of a story published 474 years earlier.

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Tags: androids, artificial intelligence, computers, handwaving mumblemumble, holodeck malfunction, holodick, Pulaski hates Data, Sherlock Holmes

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Datalore”

Eugene Myers

– February 16, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“Datalore”
Written by Robert Lewin and Gene Roddenberry, Story by Robert Lewin and Maurice Hurley
Directed by Rob Bowman

Season 1, Episode 13
Original air date: January 18, 1988
Star date: 41242.4

Mission summary

Enterprise is passing near the planet where the android Lt. Commander Data was found, so Picard decides to make a short detour in the hopes of unearthing fresh clues to the fate of the colonists who disappeared twenty-six years before.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Encounter at Farpoint”

Torie Atkinson

– December 1, 2011 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“Encounter at Farpoint”
Written by D.C. Fontana and Gene Roddenberry
Directed by Corey Allen

Season 1, Episodes 1 & 2
Original air date: September 28, 1987
Star date: 41153.7

Mission summary

Captain Jean-Luc Picard has been assigned command of the USS Enterprise-D. Headed to Deneb IV to round up the rest of his shiny new crew, the Enterprise thumps right into a supernatural barrier. The space net won’t budge and Picard and his bridge officers are visited by Q, a seemingly omnipotent being who accuses the human race of being a violent, savage race of puppy-drowning kitten-snatchers. He demands that they turn tail and run back to Earth or he will kill them all.

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Tags: advanced aliens, aliens, androids, beardless riker, distinct lack of half-naked man-wrestling, freaky aliens, godlike powers, shakespeare, space douches, troi is useless

Star Trek Re-Watch: “All Our Yesterdays”

Eugene Myers & Torie Atkinson

– March 10, 2011 8:00 amPosted in: TOS Re-Watch

“All Our Yesterdays”
Written by Jean Lisette Aroeste
Directed by Marvin Chomsky

Season 3, Episode 23
Production episode: 3×23
Original air date: March 14, 1969
Star date: 5943.7

Mission summary

Enterprise arrives at Sarpeidon three-and-a-half hours before its star, Beta Niobe, goes supernova, only to discover that the planet has already been evacuated. Where everyone has gone is anyone’s guess, since Sarpeidon hadn’t yet discovered space travel. A strong power reading on the surface leads Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy to some sort of archive, where they are greeted by an old librarian, Mr. Atoz. The poor guy is so happy to have patrons to serve, he doesn’t even notice they’re out-of-towners or bother to check their library cards. Kirk asks him where everyone went, but Atoz is too senile or focused on helping them to give him a straight answer.

ATOZ: It depended on the individual, of course. If you wish to trace a specific person, I’m sorry, but that information is confidential.
MCCOY: No, no particular person, just people in general. Where did they go?
ATOZ: Ah, you find it difficult to choose, is that it? Yes, a wide range of alternatives is a mixed blessing, but perhaps I can help. Would you step this way, please?

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