“Plato’s Stepchildren”
Written by Meyer Dolinsky
Directed by David Alexander
Season 3, Episode 10
Production episode: 3×12
Original air date: November 22, 1968
Star date: 5784.2
Mission summary
In response to some distress signals, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy beam down to the surface of an unknown planet. They’ve beamed right into a hall of some kind, adorned with Greek columns and statues. Contrary to the sensor readings, the building seems to indeed be inhabited–by some horrible monster! An intimidating shadow greets them, but ominous music cues aside it’s really just a lighting trick and it turns out to be Alexander, a chipper and talkative dwarf.
KIRK: Who are the inhabitants of this planet?
ALEXANDER: Oh, Platonians. I’m sure you’ve never heard of us. Our native star is Sahndara. Millennia ago, just before it went nova, we managed to escape. Our leader liked Plato’s ideas Plato, Platonius. See? In fact, our present philosopher-king, Parmen, sometimes calls us Plato’s children, although we sometimes think of ourselves more as Plato’s stepchildren.
Now that the premise, background, and title are explained, you don’t even need to see the episode!
No really. Don’t. Please don’t. As if recalled by an invisibile yo-yo, Alexander is dragged to another room where Parmen, the leader, reclines on a couch with his wife Philana. Parmen is in a great deal of pain and a massive infection has overwhelmed his system. He says it was just a flesh wound a minor cut and McCoy can’t understand how it got so out of control. The doctor offers a hypospray, but the hypo flies out of his medipouch and Parmen administers it himself–with his mind.
Hmm.
Meanwhile, two men in tunics play psychokinetic chess. Well, semi-psychokinetic–poor Alexander has to move half the pieces himself. After the game, Alexander turns quietly to Philana and whispers: “They came to help. They deserve better than to die.”
Hmm.
McCoy tries some educated guesswork to concoct a cure for Parmen while Philana explains the history of their people. When their planet went nova (who knew planets could do that?) millenia ago, the Platonians transported to Earth and settled in with the ancient Greeks. With the death of the Greek civilization (death? You’d think a comet struck it!), they left Earth (somehow…) and founded their own planet in the image of Plato’s Republic (sort of?). A eugenics program left only 38 remaining people “bred for contemplation and self-reliance. And longevity.” Philana herself is 2300 years old. Because their psychokinetic powers mean they “scarcely have to move anymore, let alone work,” they don’t have resistances to–well, anything. Their sleek physiques seem to belie this assertion, but let’s just go with it. Their lack of resistances is how a simple cut is jeopardizing Parmen’s life..
Unfortunately, these powers are subconscious and only mostly controllable. In Parmen’s pain-wracked delerium, invisible hands throw furniture and choke Alexander while invisible turbulence rattles the Enterprise. McCoy shakes Parmen and is barely able to get him to pass out before strangling Alexander. Because that’s what professionals do.
McCoy wants to wait for the fever to break, so Alexander escorts Kirk and Spock to another wing of the complex. Alexander is fascinated by the outsiders, and Kirk is rather curious himself:
KIRK: Where is everyone?
ALEXANDER: They’re all in chambers, meditating.
KIRK: Alexander, are there other Platonians like you?
ALEXANDER: What do you mean, like me?
KIRK: Who don’t have the psychokinetic ability.
ALEXANDER: I thought you were talking about my size, because they make fun of me for my size. But, to answer your question, I’m the only one without it. I was brought here as the court buffoon. That’s why I’m everybody’s slave and I have to be ten places at once, and I never do anything right.
SPOCK: How does one obtain the power?
What power? The power of voodoo! Who do? You–Er. Anyway. Alexander explains that everyone else had these powers pretty much as soon as they were born. He hates it here as the “court buffoon” and becomes enthralled with Kirk’s description of the Federation as an equal opportunity kind of place. But he’s called away just as McCoy enters, grinning. Parmen’s fever has broken and he’s going to be just fine.
Kirk takes the opening to hail Scotty and ask to get far away from this place. But the Enterprise’s transporters aren’t working and they can’t communicate with Starfleet. Furious, Kirk storms into Parmen’s hall once again and demands that his ship be released. (I should note that at this point Alexander is playing a lyre, yet singing a song about “Pan’s horn.” Just… what? Lyre? Panpipes? Horn? AUGH.) Parmen, visibly insulted by the accusation (but not denying it), decides to teach Kirk a lesson about respect: he uses his psychokinetic powers to whip away Kirk’s phaser, and then forces Kirk to continually slap himself. He then mocks, “Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!” Well, okay, he doesn’t, but he might as well.
In the guest room later, after suffering through the beating of his life, Kirk cannot hail the Enterprise anymore:
SPOCK: Parmen wouldn’t have treated you so brutally if he had any intention of releasing you or the Enterprise.
So we don’t get to figure ANYTHING out on this episode? *harumph*
Then the invisible yo-yo strikes again, first with McCoy, and then with Kirk and Spock, forcing them to return to the main hall. Parmen and Philana have taken a softer tone. Philana expresses gratitude for the doctor saving her husband’s life, and offers each of the men a gift. For Kirk, the shield of Pericles; for Spock, a kithara; and for McCoy, Hipprocrates’ collection of ancient Greek cures. Kirk thanks them for the gifts but wants to know if the Enterprise is free yet. Dodging the question, Parmen asks forgiveness for his earlier behavior, which he calls the result of his illness-induced “disturbed” state. Kirk agrees but again asks after the ship, and finally Parmen cuts to the chase: he wants to keep McCoy. Forever.
McCoy’s not interested, but Parmen’s kind of pushy–he forces McCoy to his side and decies to “persuade” the good doctor: by torturing his friends. And us. Mostly us.
Kirk and Spock are forced to put on laurel wreaths and dance around while singing:
KIRK: I’m Tweedledee, he’s Tweedledum.
SPOCK: Two spacemen marching to a drum.
KIRK & SPOCK: We slith among the mimsey toves, and gyre among the borogoves.
Kirk tells McCoy not to give in, no matter what they do to Kirk. So they torture him some more–this time with straightforward pain, and then by having Spock flamenco around him until he seems about to crush the captain’s face with his boot. Spock backs off and begins laughing hysterically. But once Kirk mentions that Vulcans can’t handle emotion (NICE GOING, KIRK), Spock begins sobbing uncontrollably.
Alexander protests: “Parmen, they saved your life. I’m ashamed to be a Platonian. Ashamed!” But that just pisses off the philosopher king even more, and Parmen forces Alexander to mount Kirk and “ride” him like a horse, all while Shatner makes horsie noises.
I don’t even… I just… wow. Then Parmen asks the question we are all asking at this point: “How can you let this go on?”
Later in the guest room, Spock is on the brink of madness trying to rein in his hatred and emotion. McCoy offers to stay and end this whole thing, but Kirk knows Parmen would never let them escape because Starfleet would retaliate. Meanwhile Alexander is wracked by guilt:
ALEXANDER: I should have warned you. They were treating you the same way they treat me. Just like me, only you fight them. All the time, I thought it was me, my mind that couldn’t move a pebble. They even told I was lucky they bothered keep me around at all, and I believed them. The arms and legs of everybody’s whim. Look down, don’t meet their eyes. Smile. Smile. These great people, they were gods to me. But you showed me what they really are. And now I know, don’t you see. It’s not me, it’s not my size, it’s them! It’s them! It’s them!
He starts to freak out a little bit but Kirk tells him not to throw his own life away–thus earning Alexander’s admiration forever, because “that’s the first time anybody ever thought of my life before his own.” Awww.
But back to work: they discover that the Platonians gained their power about six months after arriving on the planet, and about three months after running out of supplies. So the source of their power must have been something native to the planet, like food. McCoy senses something could be to that, and takes a blood reading from Alexander to compare to Parmen’s. It looks like Parmen has high doses of kironide in his system, and because it’s broken down by a pituitary hormone, Alexander probably doesn’t have the power for the same reason that he’s a dwarf. McCoy whips up a double-shot of this kironide and injects both Spock and Kirk, but Alex declines. He wants nothing to do with their horrible powers–all he asks is for an escape, if they’re ever able to get off the planet.
Suddenly, two figures beam into their room: it’s Lt. Uhura and Nurse Chapel! They are, however, promptly dragged away by the invisible strings.
After the break, Kirk and Spock–dressed in tunics and wearing laurel wreaths–run into Uhura and Chapel, in “Greek” robes and Lady Gaga-esque makeup. They don’t know why they’re all there, but they know it can’t be good! Kirk and Spock try to test out their powers on a plate of fruit, but it doesn’t budge. Instead, a curtain rises revealing bleachers. A whole audience is assembled to watch the show.
Kirk taunts them, but Parmen is just getting started. First, he forces Spock to “serenade” the ladies:
Take care, young ladies, and value your wine
Be watchful of young men in their velvet prime
Deeply they’ll swallow from your finest kegs
Then swiftly be gone leaving bitter dregs
Ah, bitter dregs
With smiling words and tender touch
Man offers little and asks for so much
He loves in the breathless excitement of night
Then leaves with your treasure in cold morning light
Ah, in cold morning light
That’s actually pretty saucy, all things considered, but all I can hear in my head is “BILBO BILBO BILBO BAGGINS!”
Parmen whips out a second reclining couch, puts one of the women on each of them, and has Kirk and Spock go back and forth between them as if they were two-timing lovers. But then things take a turn for the… something. While Kirk is wrapped around Uhura and Chapel holds Spock, the Platonians force each couple’s faces closer and closer together. Chapel begs for them to stop because she “feel[s] so ashamed”:
CHAPEL: For so long I’ve wanted to be close to you. Now all I want is to crawl away and die.
Just like the audience! It’s like poetry, isn’t it?
Finally, they are forced to kiss. Meanwhile, Uhura is over monologing at Kirk. She’s “afraid,” but reminds herself of all the times that Kirk’s courage has rubbed off on her, and takes that as inspiration for her most difficult mission yet: being kissed by the Shat. Clumsily executed and awkwardly edited, they finally kiss.
But Philana is bored, so Parmen decides it’s time for the pièce de résistance: a sadomasochistic orgy!
A table of toys appears and Kirk goes for the whip while Spock goes for the hot poker. Both approach their ladies menacingly but Kirk manages to get out a rant before it’s too late:
KIRK: You’re half dead, all of you! You’ve been dead for centuries. We may disappear tomorrow, but at least we’re living now, and you can’t stand that, can you? You’re half crazy because there’s nothing inside. Nothing. And you have to torture us to convince yourselves you’re superior.
McCoy begs for them to stop, but Alexander believes actions are stronger than words. He grabs a knife and lunges at Parmen, who unfortunately catches him in time to stop him. Then he turns the knife of the poor guy. But suddenly the spell is broken–it’s Kirk! He has the power!
Parmen desperately tries to send the knife-wielding dwarf at Kirk, but Kirk is able to send him back until the blade is nearly at the king’s throat. Parmen begs for his life, and Kirk decides to spare it:
ALEXANDER: Parmen, listen to me. I could have had your power, but I didn’t want it. I could have had your place right now, but the sight of you and your Academicians sickens me. Despite your brains, you’re the most contemptible things that ever lived in this universe.
Parmen blubberingly apologizes, but Kirk knows he’s not being sincere and wants assurances about what will happen when other starships pass through this sector.
PARMEN: There’s no need for concern. They’ll be safe. Of late, I have begun to think that we’ve become bizarre and unproductive. We are existing merely to nourish our own power. It’s time for some fresh air. We shall welcome your interstellar visits.
KIRK: I don’t believe you.
SPOCK: That would be highly uncharacteristic. We must expect, Parmen, that the moment we leave here, your fear would be gone and you would again be as sadistic and as arrogant as your twenty five hundred years have made you.
KIRK: Just remember, we can recreate that power in a matter of hours, so don’t try anything.
PARMEN: Understood, Captain. And you’re right, none of us can be trusted. Uncontrolled, power will turn even saints into savages, and we can all be counted upon to live down to our lowest impulses.
KIRK: You’re very good at making speeches, Parmen. Just make sure that this one sinks in.
Analysis
Ghastly. Absolutely ghastly from beginning to end.
Where do I even start? What exactly is the worst part? The comically melodramatic music? The over-the-top performances? No, no, the award goes to the script–shambling, dreadful, and possibly the new low of the series. It is, I think, properly summarized by Parmen: “How can you let this go on?” Yes, how? I am wondering, now, how “Spock’s Brain” even compares–that was boring, but “Plato’s Stepchildren” is loathsome in just about every way. The only thing that sets it above is its attempt–albeit faint, and albeit failed–to communicate Roddenberry’s vision of the future.
In Alexander’s world, he is the “buffoon”–but more properly he is a slave. He’s abused, hated, and perhaps worst of all, ridiculed (I’ll come back to this). He asks Kirk if, where he comes from, there are people like him: without “the power” and with his size. And Kirk’s answer is one of the clearest expressions of the Star Trek vision we have: “Alexander, where I come from, size, shape, or color makes no difference, and nobody has the power.”
Alexander’s size would be no obstacle to him in the Federation, okay, yes–but I think the last bit is more telling: “Nobody has the power.” A truly egalitarian society means that everyone has power equally, and no one individual or group has enough of it to arbitrarily or cruelly oppress anyone else with. This is an ideal, not a reality, much like Plato’s Republic. But it’s an ideal that even the most power-hungry Commodores are aspiring toward, and one that holds Kirk’s world together. Nobody has the power, because everyone has the power. The real strength is in their number, in their cooperation, and in their unity. No one is more powerful than the least powerful among them, because all would share the burden of that powerlessness together. It’s a spirit of both community and comity that to the viewer works only as an occasionally ludicrous science fiction show, but to Kirk represents the only world he could possibly imagine living in.
Whether you agree with that particular vision as viable or even appealing, it’s a lot more fair, just, and reasonable than the sham republic Parmen and Philana claim to live in. The problem with a philosopher king is that he’s still a king, and his power is still so great as to be oppressive. Alexander argues that our trio should let Parmen die because then the others will feud and fight for the spot he leaves behind. Classy, right? Parmen believes that they inhabit “the most democratic society conceivable” because the psychokinetic power allows personal freedom beyond one’s wildest imaginations, “if the mind is strong enough.” But democracy is about more than personal freedom. A truly democratic society must protect the freedoms of the weak as much as it protects the freedoms of the powerful–a message that may have felt stronger during the civil rights movement of 1968 than perhaps it does today. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this episode is also the one where Kirk and Uhura kiss.
As far as the “power” is concerned, I found it really interesting that Parmen’s weapon of choice isn’t simply pain or coercion, but humiliation. Each of his antics–forcing Kirk and Spock to dance, Kirk to writhe around on the floor, Spock to laugh and cry, and–god I can’t believe I would willingly reference this again, but Alexander riding Kirk like a horse–is meant to humiliate and denigrate them. In the end for the BDSM orgy bit, Chapel tells Spock that she is “so ashamed.” Parmen doesn’t need to hurt Alexander in the physical sense to keep him in check–he just needs to embarrass him, a pattern of ridicule so perverse and ingrained that Alexander doesn’t recognize he’s a victim until Kirk tries to fight it himself. After enough time, Parmen doesn’t even need to actually humiliate him anymore. Alexander internalizes that treatment, comes to believe he has deserved it, and manufactures his own angst and pain without Parmen’s help. This kind of torture is both disturbing and devastating.
And that’s about all I can tease out of this otherwise execrable episode.
Less weighty thoughts: was anyone else surprised that the censors had a problem with the Kirk-Uhura kiss and not Spock’s overtly sexual song? Were Uhura and Chapel supposed to be wooed by that, or just embarrassed for him? And I know the Shat is intimidating, but why is Uhura scared out of her mind about kissing him? You’d think she were facing a firing squad with her speech about fear and courage.
Torie’s Rating: Full Stop (on a Warp scale of 1-6)
Eugene Myers: This is absolutely dreadful. As soon as Alexander started explaining the episode title in the teaser, I knew we were in for it. I must have blocked out most of the awful stuff from my previous viewings, because all I really remembered was the Greek motif, Alexander, and Kirk and Uhura’s kiss–for which this episode is notorious. But as progressive as that historic moment might have been, and how well intentioned the episode’s theme of acceptance, this episode can only inspire boredom and disbelief. In fact, I dozed off at several points, partially from sleep deprivation and partially as a defensive mechanism. Sadly, I had to go back and watch what I had missed, which wasn’t much as it turns out.
Where to begin the litany of failures in this episode? It’s perhaps easier to mention what I did like. Alexander’s character really stood out not because of his height but because Michael Dunn played his role with the perfect blend of resignation, sadness, and eventually righteous anger. He has a pivotal role, one which should have been even more prominent, and he turns in the best performance of anyone. Instead, he’s used to deliver extraneous exposition and lingers mostly in the background, where he watches the events unfold with the same horror and pain that viewers at home must have felt. No wonder we sympathize with him.
Alexander’s sobering speech about what it’s like to live with the Platonians is a high point in the episode: “Look down, don’t meet their eyes. Smile. Smile.” Anyone who has ever been discriminated against or ridiculed can relate to his experience. His obvious surprise and relief when he realizes that Kirk accepts him wholly as he is is heartbreaking.
KIRK: Alexander, are there other Platonians like you?
ALEXANDER: What do you mean, like me?
KIRK: Who don’t have the psychokinetic ability.
ALEXANDER: I thought you were talking about my size, because they make fun of me for my size.
Unfortunately, he also has the bad habit of spelling things out, because the writer clearly doesn’t believe in subtlety. In general, I enjoyed Alexander’s relationship with Kirk and how gentle the captain was with him–only to feel betrayed by Kirk’s joke at the end, which Alexander actually smiles at:
Mr. Scott, prepare to beam us up. I have a little surprise for you. I’m bringing a visitor aboard.
Then again, perhaps Alexander is just grinning and bearing it again, because Enterprise is his ticket out of there.
In principle, Spock’s attempts to wrestle with forced emotions were an excellent touch, and makes his actions under Platonian control feel like even more of a violation. I didn’t remember that Nurse Chapel and he were also forced to kiss, but this is doubly devastating because Spock really doesn’t want it (or is constantly fighting to control his feelings for her) and Chapel does want it, but not under those conditions. Spock also delivers my favorite line in the entire episode, his response to Philana’s ill-conceived question about how old she looks: “Thirty-five.” His delivery of that line and Kirk’s reaction is priceless.
Of course, the rest of the episode exacts a hefty price. This episode is embarrassing for everyone involved. The way Kirk, Spock, and Alexander are forced to act is demeaning enough to watch, but it’s far harder to take because their body language is laughable and far too much time is spent on their horrible antics. The premise itself is even more laughable than watching Kirk slap himself or a hypo fly out of McCoy’s pouch on a wire: How exactly can the Platonians force people to say or feel things if they’re “psychokinetic”? I suppose this is a step up from telekinetic, in that they can manipulate emotions and thoughts as well, but it doesn’t seem all that well-developed. On top of all that, there isn’t much story here. All the information is handed to Enterprise crew upfront, so there isn’t much left for them to figure out on their own (or hook the viewer), and the resolution is ridiculously easy and unsatisfying.
The weird philosophizing and overwrought speeches don’t help matters either, though I suppose this could be one interpretation of what a planet of academics might be like. The basic idea that the Platonians are more vulnerable because of their dependence on their power has promise, but it doesn’t make medical sense for a simple scratch to be life-threatening–at least, not for that reason. And if this were true, why do they have so many sharp things like knives and breakable pottery? I would have liked it if this had been explored in a more believable way. At one point, Alexander says he doesn’t want to “lie around like a big blob of nothing” while things are done for him, which suggests that the Platonians should be out of shape since they never do any physical activity, kind of like the people on the Axiom in WALL·E. Instead, they look like Barbara Babcock!
Speaking of Philana, she seems to get a little excited by Kirk and Uhura’s kiss, doesn’t she? Then she appears to be jealous. Is it because she fancies one (or both) of them, or does sex with her husband get boring after hundreds of years (assuming they don’t have a platonic relationship)? Given her name, I expect the latter. Even that would have been an interesting take on this, if this society were somehow more hedonistic because of their powers, or a more realistic and thoughtful perversion of the principles under which they were founded.
Basically, not much makes sense in this episode (How did the Sahndarans get to Earth and leave again? Why does Parmen know French? And Lewis Carroll? And flamenco dancing?!) and, appropriately enough, it all feels forced. If I were more generous, I would suggest that the screenwriter was going for a meta approach, trying to demonstrate that the actors are puppets too, demeaned more and more as season three continues, but I don’t think that’s what he had in mind. I don’t think he had much in mind at all.
Eugene’s Rating: Full Stop
Best Line: KIRK: Alexander, where I come from, size, shape, or color makes no difference.
Syndication Edits: Spock and Philana talking about whether the psychokinetic powers go off when they sleep; Kirk trying to protect Alexander in the initial fight, and Alexander encouraging him to just let Parmen die; part of Kirk and Scotty’s discussion, and part of Alexander’s song about “Pan’s horn”; Kirk’s initial plea for the Enterprise to be released; some Kirk-slapping; the trio discussing the situation and trying to contact the ship; part of the conversation among the three about Spock trying to cope with his emotions; Uhura and Chapel’s first appearance; the second verse of Spock’s song.
Trivia: The original draft of this episode was titled “The Sons of Socrates” and began with the Enterprise getting shaken down by Parmen’s psycho powers. Kirk was paired with a young yeoman who fancied him and Uhura got the good doctor McCoy. Uhura, not Spock, sings the song, and Spock beats up McCoy. The doctor then suckerpunches him. Chapel and the random yeoman into Kirk have a girlfight, just to balance out all that manliness.
The episode did not air in the UK until 1993 (!), due to its “sadistic elements.” This was apparently also true of “The Empath,” “Whom Gods Destroy,” and to a lesser extent, “Miri.”
Leonard Nimoy wrote that song himself.
The Kiss: As you probably all know by now, despite popular belief the Uhura-Kirk kiss was not the first interracial kiss on television. That would go either to The Little Rascals, or, if you want adults, any episode of I Love Lucy. The first white-black kiss was Nancy Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. the year before on Movin’ With Nancy. If you just mean fictional, then yes, it counts.
Memory Alpha quotes Nichelle Nichols on some of the circumstances arounding it, all of which are a hoot and worth checking out.
Other notes: Michael Dunn, who played Alexander, is probably most famous for appearing in Ship of Fools and his recurring role as a charming villain in The Wild, Wild West. He was ridiculously accomplished: in college by 16, Tony-nominated by 29, and Oscar-nominated by 31. Sadly, he died so very young just a few years later at 38 from pulmonary heart disease, the result of the spondyloepiphyseal dysplasia that was responsible for his stature.
Barbara Babcock of course is a Star Trek veteran. She played Mea 3 in “A Taste of Armageddon,” and was the voice of Trelane’s mother in “Squire of Gothos,” the Beta 5 computer in “Assignment: Earth,” and Loskene in last week’s “The Tholian Web.” She’ll appear one more time as the voice of Zetar in the upcoming “Lights of Zetar.”
Previous episode: Season 3, Episode 9 -“The Tholian Web.”
Next episode: Season 3, Episode 11 – “Wink of an Eye.” US residents can watch it for free at the CBS website.
Ahh, we have arrived at what is truly third season Star Trek. Pointless danger to the ship, (Has a star ship ever nearly de-orbited as many times as Enterprise?) super powered aliens who aren’t just testing, and all sense of metaphor lost as we are hit with the message brick over and over. Here I can use my favorite movie quote about our upcoming experience with this season.
“I can’t lie to you about your chances, but you have my sympathies.”
I agree that Michael Dunn was the best element of this episode. Despite being given dreck to say, he turned in a rather nuanced performance. The rest of the regular cast mainly walked around spoke their lines and looked to be in pain. (which I guess they were because they had, after all, read the script.)
Regarding Uhura’s fear at The Kiss, I think it was more the implicit rape just over the horizon — as though this mind-control thing isn’t already violation enough.
The episode is an attempted critique of Plato that doesn’t quite work out. They’re trying — I mean, the shadow-puppet appearance of Alexander in the opening scene is an obvious shout-out to the Allegory of the Cave, and the entire society is meant as an attack on the naivete of the “Philosopher Kings” ideal, were it put into practice. I think you could even argue that the idea that the superpowers come from the environment, rather than being inherent, is itself meant to tear down the central idea behind the philosopher kings — the idea that some people are inherently superior to others, and therefore deserve to rule; it turns out they just eat their psychic Wheaties.
On another note, what’s up with those two unnamed Platonians who are playing chess and giving each other meaningful glances all the time? I feel like there’s a lot of backstory to be imagined there. Some of it might even not be slashy.
Oh, also — the idea of people dying from infected cuts and the like is realistic; it’s mentioned in Philip Matyszak’s Ancient Rome on 5 Denarii a Day as being a real threat. Romans, of course, still had knives, broken pots, and sharp plants around regularly.
Less realistic is the notion that a group could create either FTL travel or several successful generation ships without having, y’know, RUDIMENTARY BIOLOGY. But at least it’s a plausible historic detail.
I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that I’ve always sort of liked this episode. Sure it’s poorly written and has plot holes you could pilot a starship through. But it still has a little something. Most of that coming from Michael Dunn, of course. OTOH, this episode may be a contributing factor in my general distaste for Plato.
Torie, Pan’s “horn” here is obviously “a pune or play on words”. A subtle bit of raunch they slipped past the censors that would also have amused the Greeks.
The kiss: I’ve seen it also described as the first scripted black-white kiss. Perhaps more importantly is that it was the first passionate black-white kiss. Nancy Sinatra and Sammy Davis was more of a peck. And while Lucy and Desi did kiss, they tended to be somewhat more chaste spousal kisses. Bear in mind that people were somewhat shocked by the passion that Gomez displayed when kissing Morticia; Lucy and Desi never went that far. (We can also gloss over the double-think that meant that men like Desi Arnaz or Ricardo Montalban “didn’t count” as not white; they were fiery Latin lovers, almost Europeans.) There’s also the factor that they were getting a lot of flak from the censors and the network about Shat’s kissing in general. He had a tendency to go for the open-mouthed kiss and that was still a no-no on TV. Anyway, I guess the point is that while this kiss did have predecessors, it was still very groundbreaking.
@2 Deepthought: I agree that her fear was more about being controlled and unabel to influence what was happening to her than kissing the captain. Yeah I think the scriptwriter wanted to insinuate that rape would have happened, but then the platoians level of control really get beyond beliefe.
I disagree that the shadow on the wall was a referrence to the Cave but more likely a bored director trying to have fun with a crappy script. (of course, it could be both)
On the subject of infect: those os use born in the anti-biotic world have little understanding just how deadly and common infection really was. Any break in the skin could lead to a deadly infection. The first man treated with Penecillin died because they ran out before they could knock down the infect. How did he get that infection? From a rose thorn. That simple of a cut.
Here the writer was trying to suggest that the life of no-work created no immunities to infection but that’s beyond silly into stupid terrority.
Anyway if they could control what people said — as they did several times — why the big production of holding McCoy captive? They could have just forced him to tell Kirk. “Jim, these people need a doctor. I’m staying.” For people who sat around thinking all the time they were pretty bad at it.
I have no way to try to defend this episode though I thought that the same chemical imbalance that gave them their abilities also suppressed their immune systems and this was how a scratch could become so deadly. Still. That doesn’t explain how they could have been so physically inactive for a couple thousand years and not end up looking like Jaba the Hut and his lovely misses – or mistress (seen in Episode 1).
There was a PSA (Public Service Announcement) that ran in the early Seventies that I can’t ignore while thinking about or discussing this episode. Does anyone here remember the bodyless head in a box being placed on a pedestal by the robot Z-12 then the head begins reciting ideas, theories and formulas? After the narrated physical fitness message, the PSA ended with the head calling for his robot who seems to no longer be around. I can’t help thinking that that simple little PSA dealt more effectively than this episode did with the action over intellect portion of this plot.
As has been pointed out, Michael Dunn’s performance was the best part of this episode. His reaction when offered a chance at the power was – for me – the high point of the episode.
Wow. I’m flying by at Warp 2 (and at this point wondering if I’m ever going to get down to Warp 1, but that’s for another time)
This ep. isn’t the best, by a long shot, but it has some intriguing moments. In particular, the forced displays of affection has stuck with me as a twisted ‘careful what you ask for’ moment–at least as I read it. (And really, was this any sillier than Mudd’s Women?)
My main problem with this ep. is that THEY NOW HAVE THE POWER! Why aren’t they strolling up to Klingons and making them do the macarena?
@Ludon 5
Can you find that PSA?
I’ve done some searching but no luck so far. I did find a discussion of that spot at this location. This page, at least, looked to be safe for work but I didn’t check any of the other pages there.
http://monsterkidclassichorrorforum.yuku.com/topic/32530
I’m going to contact a friend who I believe has a copy of it and see if he can point me to where he found it.
@2 DeepThought, @4 bobsandiego
I thought that opening shot of the shadow was just meant to make Dunn’s actual height even more of a surprise. It was an interesting approach, anyway.
They could have just forced him to tell Kirk. “Jim, these people need a doctor. I’m staying.”
I guess that would have been less…sporting? That’s a huge plot hole, you’re right.
@5 Ludon
Yes, the episode is nearly redeemed by Dunn’s performance. If only there were a “good parts” version with just his scenes in it.
@6 ChurchHatesTucker
I bet it’s one of those instances where the power works, but only on this planet. It would have been interesting if they could have come up with a reason why prolonged or increased dosage of the chemical would have a long-term negative effect on anyone who isn’t Sahndaran. You could also claim that the drug accelerated their metabolisms so they didn’t gain weight (but I believe that is coming up in the next episode.)
One thing I didn’t mention–I hated the way everyone moved when they were being compelled by the power. They all lurch in different, absurd ways. Because Spock has better physical strength and mental control, I thought he’d walk stiffly perhaps, obviously resisting but more or less normally. Are they being pulled, or are they being forced to walk? Or both?
@ 2 DeepThought
Re: Uhura, I suppose that’s possible, though it still seems like a stretch to me.
Re: Real Plato–it doesn’t strike me as an indictment of the actual Platonic ideal. Alexander and even Parmen both admit that their society doesn’t actually adhere to the guidelines in the Republic, and Spock questions this, too:
I think instead it’s a warped and twisted version of Plato, and thus not really deserving of the critique on the grounds that Plato’s ACTUAL Republic may not have worked. (Most of us agree it wouldn’t, I just mean that this episode isn’t exactly evidence to support that.)
@ 3 DemetriosX
Your first assumption is that it’s subtlety? You clearly have more faith in them than I do. I mentally filed it into the “inexplicability” category, like their knowledge of French, Lewis Carroll, and Mexican hat dances.
@ 4 bobsandiego
And thus is the dilemma of the all-power being anyway. I suppose you could argue Parmen wanted to have a little fun, in addition to simply getting to keep McCoy?
@ 5 Ludon
I agree on the physique thing. Maybe they live on extremely low calorie diets thanks to the superpowered local food?
@ 6 ChurchHatesTucker
Sillier than “Mudd’s Women”? No. Causes a proportionally greater amount of abject suffering? YES.
Torie @9: Well, subtle for a network censor. They tended to be pretty dense. I mean it isn’t all that subtle when you get right down to it. I don’t want to defend this episode too much, I’m just saying that a song about Pan’s horn isn’t a totally failed concept.
Church@6/Eugene@8: How about: prolonged exposure or ingestion of the stuff weakens their immune systems. That covers a couple of problems with one blow. Kinda. Sorta.
@ECMyers #8 — I don’t think that forcing McCoy to say that he wanted to stay would have cut it. By the end, McCoy says this without manipulation, and Kirk steadfastly refuses to accept it.
The Platonians don’t seem to be capable of brainwashing with their mind rays; aside from Spock, they don’t even seem capable of (or think of) inducing emotion in their captives (other than indirectly through torture).
@Torie #9 — Yeah, it isn’t *really* Plato’s Republic. But I’m trying to give the ep some credit by claiming it’s an intentional critical commentary instead of just, y’know, a bunch of stuff that happened while a camera was coincidentally rolling — a pretty strong competing theory for how the episode came to be.
well this episode has made me feel better about my own unsold stories.
LOL
@11 Deepthought
They are capable of forcing their targets to speak whatever the Plats want them to say. To wit the sing/song performance byu Kirk and Spock, unless we are supposed to think that was their characters naturally inclination. So you have the good doctor tell his captian that he is going to stay. If the gambit works McCoy is stuck and eventually must accept his lot there. (And after three months he’ll have the power and eventually be corrupted by that same power.) If it doesn’t work because the cpatain twigs that his doctor is acting out of character then you get to have fun with your new toys. it’s a win-win.
@6 Eugene
Yeah, the planet-confined-thingy helps with the whole Trek Reset Button, but even then you’d think they’d have a colony of engineers building (even more) fantastical starships or something within a couple weeks.
Alas, continuity was rarely in the game plan in those days.
@9 Torie
Abject suffering? Really? Maybe I’ve still got my rose-colored contacts in.
@10 DemetriosX
That’s a pretty good solution, although I think that would be a risk many people would be willing to take.
No luck on locating a copy of that PSA. My friend is still looking for a copy of it and he remembers it more clearly than I – he recites what the head said.
It’s been quiet around here this weekend–too quiet! So I’ll take the opportunity to congratulate Eugene, who got engaged last week. Yay and congrats to them both! There, now we have something to talk about.
Alas, he seems resistant to ordering a dress uniform… help me persuade him?
Oh, and there was some shitty episode that I guess I can talk about, too.
@ 10 DemetriosX
A song about Pan’s horn–isn’t that “Sledgehammer”? *earworm achieved*
@ 11 DeepThought
Alas, I don’t think that’s a strong competing theory. The insertion of the episode title in the teaser should be enough to convince you the episode had a writer. Or, “writer.”
@ 14 ChurchHatesTucker
Abject suffering: *checks* Yep, still there.
Torie @16: Perhaps, but not the earworm you expected. My default Peter Gabriel earworm is “Games Without Frontiers” followed by “Solsbury Hill” and any PG song will rather quickly devolve into one of those. “Solsbury Hill” appears to be winning at the moment.
Also, I think the inclusion of the episode title could actually reinforce DeepThought’s premise. The cameras ran, they had to figure out what to call it, and they didn’t get any further than the teaser and grabbed the first few words that sounded vaguely title-y.
@16 Torie
First off…to Eugue.. Congratulations! May much happiness and success follow you and yours.
Torie, maybe this thread is quiet because the episode is so bad. (which does not bode well for future episode and their threads.)
I have pleanty of snark ready for the next posting and I haven’t even re-watched it yet, but oh how I remember the next episode.
Congrats to Eugene & the soon-to-be better half!
@16 Torie, I’d think TOS dress uniforms would be more his thing.
Thanks for the congratulations, everyone! Torie, I’m happy to order that dress uniform, but I’ll never get to wear it at my wedding :) I do think the TOS dress uniforms are nice too, but perhaps a bit too shiny and colorful. All the other ones from TNG etc. look like dress uniforms.
Belated congratulations to Eugene & Spouse-to-be. Just a shame it had to coincide with this particular episode.
@21 NomadUK
Thanks! Don’t worry, this episode was the farthest thing from my mind. And I’m doing my best to forget it completely.
I’ve been trying not to post a lot of comments to episodes already discussed ages ago but I can’t help it this time. I almost didn’t want to click on this one because my memory of it is so good. Talk about an awful episode. They abused the characters so thoroughly that I’m amazed nobody walked off the set. Even the kiss that’s been so heralded as a triumph for equality is pretty horrible, given how hard they both fought it.
It occurs to me that the network really did a job on paying their audience back for wanting to keep the show on the air. It’s like they’re sitting in a room one day, drinking their cognac and counting their piles of money, and one of the head honchos is saying, “You know, I really hate that Star Trek with it’s morality and idealism. Did we really have to keep it?”
And another suit snorts some cocaine and says, “I know, but we’ll pay the bastards back. We’ll give them such terrible episodes that they’ll wish they’d never heard of Star Trek. You know those characters they love? We’ll abuse them and humiliate them and mark my words: You’ll never see a letter writing campaign again.”
Obviously this didn’t work but I have to admit that after reading these episode summaries I’m almost glad that some of my favorite, more recent shows that had letter writing campaigns like Firefly didn’t succeed. I don’t think I could have tolerated watching another loved series dragged so thoroughly through the mud.
@23 Toryx
Yeah, this is definitely a case where the phrase “be careful what you wish for” seems to apply.
I sometimes think it’s better for a great show to be cancelled in its prime than to run the risk of there being bad episodes–or entire bad seasons. Firefly can always be perfect in our minds, its potential never realized.
And feel free to post comments on any old reviews. It would be great to get discussions going again, and we always try to respond if anyone drops by.
Eugene @ 24:
I sometimes think it’s better for a great show to be cancelled in its prime than to run the risk of there being bad episodes–or entire bad seasons. Firefly can always be perfect in our minds, its potential never realized.
I agree. There are several shows that definitely should have been cancelled earlier than they did. Or preferably, resolved and shut down on the producers own initiative. The X-Files will always be the prime example of that for me. Firefly was screwed from the get go by Fox but I think another couple of seasons would have been good, at the very least.
Star Trek should have been able to go on for a couple more seasons as well before it got to the point the studio drove it to in Season 3. I think TNG, on the other hand, was pretty much ready for bed by the end of Season 6 and from what I hear the same was probably true of DS9. I admittedly never got into Voyager, so I don’t know about that one. And Enterprise is its own issue entirely.
I think, by and large, someone needs to remember that old line, “Always leave them wanting more.” That’s something no one quite seems able to live up to these days.
Toryx@25: The best example of doing it right — and, really, they pretty much always did it right — was The Mary Tyler Moore Show, in which the team decided to close it down even though the ratings were fine and the network wanted them to keep going. They went out on a high note, and that show was, for me, probably the pinnacle of television comedy.
Newhart might well have done the same; I don’t know whether they quit voluntarily or not, but that last episode was brilliant.
@ 25 Toryx
The X-Files is always the prime example of this. They had a series arc (this was new!) that ended at Season 5. One additional thing is revealed in the movie. After that, all that had to happen was the invasion, which I and many other fans assumed would be a series of movies. But nooo, they couldn’t leave a cow unmilked. Season 6 was a mixed bag, and then it went on for three more years.
TNG’s 7th season is abysmal. There are one or two really outstanding episodes, and at least a dozen dreadful ones. I remember watching the one where Crusher has this weird sexual relationship with a Scottish ghost in her grandmother’s house and thought, yep! This is over.
DS9 is a weird one. It didn’t get interesting for like, four years, and then the war wrapped up in under two. The 7th season did a lot of tying off loose ends but none of it was really satisfying, and it’s hard to forgive the Esre Dax bullshit.
@ 26 NomadUK
Haven’t seen any of those, but I can’t think of a single comedy from Cheers to Arrested Development that a) ended voluntarily and b) ended well.
NomadUK @ 26:
I’m afraid I never did see The Mary Tyler Moore Show all the way through, though the episodes I did see were generally pretty brilliant. Newhart I did see pretty much all of and I agree, they did a fantastic job of ending that one. That was just beautiful to see.
Torie @ 27: Yeah, I remember being pretty thoroughly disappointed by Season 6 of The X-Files. I’m pretty sure that was the last season I actually watched, and from that point on I have been waiting for someone to come along with a tight, cohesive five or six season plan, do it and then end it. I can’t believe it still hasn’t happened.
I think the TNG episode in season 7 that really told me it was all over was when everyone devolved into crazy pre-humanoid lifeforms. God, that was horrible.
DS9 lost me when they killed off Jadzia. Actually, the lost me when the promos for that episode first began to air promising that “One of these people are going to die!” Such a cheap, bullshit marketing ploy pretty much finished it for me. I’ve always meant to try watching the whole series on DVD via Netflix but I’ve not been able to get past the first season.
@Toryx #28 — Pre-humanoid life forms? Wasn’t that Voyager?
I didn’t think TNG ever stooped quite that low (despite the ghost sex episode that never gets syndicated).
DeepThought @ 29:
I don’t know if Voyager did it or not, but there was a pretty unfortunate TNG episode. Worf turned into some hell beast, Troi became a mermaid type of creature, Picard became a Homo Erectus or something, and Riker, of all things, became a giant spider creature.
I’m pretty sure that happened and it wasn’t just a nightmare I had.
Toryx @30: Actually, wasn’t it Lt. Barkley that turned into a spider creature? I seem to recall Geordie summing up all the horrible things that had happened to Reg over the years and calling this the icing on the cake. Voyager did something similar, but it was only Janeway and Paris who got turned into giant axolotls that then had babies. That episode has been officially decanonized, the only episode of any live-action ST series that can be said of.
DemetriosX @ 31:
That’s right! Wow, it turns out I’d actually succeeded in blocking some of that episode out. Riker turned into the Caveman and poor Barkley turned into a spider. Now that I think of it, Picard might have been the only one of the upper echelon who wasn’t regressed.
Forgot to add…I had no clue that a Voyager episode was actually removed from canon. Wow, that’s a whole new level of bad.
@25 Toryx “Star Trek should have been able to go on for a couple more seasons as well before it got to the point the studio drove it to in Season 3.”
Bingo. The budget was severely slashed in season three, Gene was pissed and took a largely hands-off attitude, and we ended up with The Empath.
To be fair though, it was an extremely expensive show (for its time, that is, it’d about cover the catering budget for a current show) and they hadn’t yet figured out target marketing. They also didn’t understand the potential of syndication (oddly, since they were already doing it.)
@28 Toryx
The worst promo I ever saw was for Voyager, when Marina Sirtis was guest starring. In the promo she says, “I’ve decided to ask Captain Picard for help,” which of course suggests that Patrick Stewart might make an appearance. In the actual episode, her line is “I can’t ask Captain Picard for help.” That made me pretty angry.
@31 DemetriosX
I can’t believe they decanonized that episode! I hadn’t heard that, but I’m not surprised. Not so much because of the lizard sex, but because of the ridiculous “at warp 10 we occupy every space at once” concept.
I’ve not been able to remember the title of that ST:TNG episode because since its first airing I’ve always referred to it as Star Trek’s “Great Vegetable Rebellion.”
Eugene @ 35:
Man, someone should have slammed them with false advertising in that promo. That’s seriously messed up.
A few years ago my partner and I worked our way through all of Star Trek mostly in order, but we never watched this one. “Plato’s Stepchildren” is just too nasty for me and it gets my vote for worst episode. It’s more insulting than “Turnabout Intruder”, it doesn’t have any redeeming flashes of humor in it like “Spock’s Brain”, and even the wretched “The Savage Curtain” has more convincing a message.
Do you know what the worst bit is? It’s when Kirk and Parmen are using Alexander as their puppet in a duel with each other. It’s painful enough to watch Alexander dancing about to Parmen’s whims, but Kirk does exactly the same thing to the poor guy. Then Kirk utters a line that, I guess, is meant to make us all feel better about his motives: when Alexander asks, “Why don’t you let me finish him off?”, Kirk says in the most offhand way possible, “Do you want to be like him?” As though Kirk hadn’t himself been revelling in “being like him”! It’s facile and cheap for Kirk to be pretending to moral superiority at that point, not just after exulting in a raw display of might (“at twice your power level!”)
@38 etomlins
It’s hard to choose among the low points in this episode, but that was one of the worst. I can see how Kirk might justify his actions in the moment, but it still makes me lose respect for him. I guess, at least he wasn’t enjoying it…
@39 Eugene–
Maybe Kirk was still smarting from being horsey-ridden by a dwarf.
I guess I’ve taken that scene differently. Kirk wasn’t getting a thrill out of what he was doing. He was a soldier engaged in a conflict. He had to show that not only could the federation replicate their power, but also that they would be willing to stoop to their level to make their point. I took the “Do you want to be like him?” as reminding Alexander of the stand he had taken earlier when he had turned down a chance at having that power.
Not that it improves the episode, but that stand and that question are two things that I do like about this one.
I’ve watched this episode countless times and what I love is how Nimoy and Shatner just go for it. The writing is insane, but they embrace it. Kelley is the only one who doesn’t get to do anything crazy and he even seems kind of pissed either because the writers left him out or because the other two are having so much fun.
The “Great Pan” song is taken from the frogs’ song in the “Crossing of the Styx” scene in Aristophanes’ The Frogs and it is anything but dignified. (Look up “βρεκεκεκεξ κοαξ κοαξ” on Youtube.)The play is a deliberate farce, not like this unbelievable mess. Some fan publication (was it The Music of Star Trek?) pointed out that Great Pan is a pipe player, he doesn’t “sound” a horn, he “nods” the ones on his head. The writers couldn’t even get that right. Where were the continuity editors?
Nimoy didn’t so much compose “Maiden Wine” as adapt it from a number of similar ballads that go back to the 17th century. The lyrics use food or botanical imagery to warn young people against being seduced into giving up their virtue. The best known at the time this episode was written was probably Pentangle’s 1968 version of “Let No Man Steal Your Thyme”.
Sondra Marshak and Myrna Culbreath were intrigued by the humiliation scenes in this episode and referred to them several times in the interviews for their book Shatner: Where No Man. Shat said he had really tried to make his performance serious. Nimoy dismissed it as a third season episode and said “The Naked Time” had brought out similar themes more effectively.
You seem educated enough to know the difference between race and ethnicity. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz (and Lucy and Ricky Ricardo) were the same race: Caucasian. The three “classical” races were Caucasian, Negroid, and Mongoloid.
If you’re talking about whiteness as something delineated outside of race, then yes, it might have been shocking for some to see a WASP kissing a “Latin,” but remember that Italians, Jews, and even Irish weren’t considered white not that long ago.