“Ménage à Troi”
Written by Fred Bronson & Susan Sackett
Directed by Robert Legato
Season 3, Episode 24
Original air date: May 28, 1990
Star date: 43930.7
Mission summary
The Enterprise is hosting a trade agreement conference while in orbit around Betazed, which means it’s time for another installment of How I Studiously Avoided Meeting Your Mother starring Lwaxana Troi. Lwaxana seems happy at the chance to further berate her daughter for choosing a career over babies on Betazed, but gets derailed when a Ferengi named DaiMon Tog hits on her in the middle of the reception. For some reason “I would pay handsomely for you” doesn’t work on her, and she spurns him in front of the delegation before storming off. But Tog isn’t superficial–he wants her mind, too. To give him an edge on negotiations.
Riker gets assigned shore leave, so he and Deanna go for a walk down Memory Lane–and also the Huntington Library Botanical Gardens–on Betazed. But their little date is spoiled when Lwaxana and Mr. Homn arrive, and start Meddling. Mr. Homn goes off to pick some berries while Riker, Deanna, and Lwaxana get more and more irritated with one another. Just then, DaiMon Tog beams down! He still has the hots for Mama Troi, and won’t take no for an answer–beaming them all back to his ship.
They arrive naked, because that’s supposed to be funny. Tog again declares his attraction (and business proposition) to Mama Troi, and she decides to try and play him. Deanna is returned to a brig with Riker, with the Nibor guarding them. He has a weakness for (and at) 3D chess, though, which Riker attempts to exploit by goading him and offering a rematch of a game he won on the Enterprise… if he can get out of his cell. This works for some reason, and soon Nibor is out cold and Deanna and Riker are both free.
Meanwhile, Wesley has just passed his written Academy entrance exam and all that remains is his oral exam. He angsts about leaving the Enterprise… yeah I don’t think anyone cares enough for me to recap that.
Lwaxana has bought her daughter’s freedom, in part, by oo-moxing Tog, which sounds a little like Ferengi second base. Blech. She tells Deanna to take advantage of his “relaxed” state and try to fashion an escape for them. Unfortunately, it looks like Riker never actually bothered to incapacitate Nibor because soon they’ve been caught sending a distress signal and corralled back up with the exposed Lwaxana. Humiliated again, Tog consents to Dr. Farek’s demands that they mind probe Lwaxana. This doesn’t work anyway, so Lwaxana tries to buy her daughter’s freedom by agreeing to become Tog’s telepathic consort willingly. He likes this idea…
Wesley, meanwhile, missed the boat to the Academy because he deciphered Riker’s distress call and just had to show everyone. He saves the day again as the Enterprise catches up with Tog’s ship and demands the return of the trio. Tog happily returns Deanna and Riker, but shows that Lwaxana doesn’t want to go. Of course, Deanna knows better… and when Lwaxana hints over the viewscreen that she and Picard were lovers, Deanna picks up on the ruse and tells Picard to “fight” for her so that Tog will give her up.
PICARD: Er, er. It’s not over between us, Lwaxana. You’re mine and I will not let you go. I insist you return to my side immediately.
LWAXANA: You mean, you still care?
PICARD: My love is a fever, longing still for that which longer nurseth the disease.
LWAXANA: Tell me more.
PICARD: In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes, for they in thee a thousand errors see. But ’tis my heart that loves what they despise, who in despite of view are pleas’d to dote. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
TOG: You didn’t tell me that you and Captain Picard were
LWAXANA: You said you didn’t want to hear about my other romances. I have a new love, Jean-Luc. And you can’t keep killing all my lovers. That simply has to stop.
TOG: Killing?
LWAXANA: Oh, he’s insanely jealous.
PICARD: Listen, Tog, I must possesses Lwaxana. And if that means destroying your ship in the process, so be it.
Tog doesn’t call his bluff and beams Lwaxana back before he believes his ship is destroyed. All is well… and the captain goes out of his way to thank Wesley for skipping the oral exams to get back his first mate.
WESLEY: Is there something wrong, Captain?
PICARD: I’m just thinking that I’m saying goodbye to you as you are today.
WESLEY: But I thought you said I wasn’t going to be able to go?
PICARD: The Academy must make you wait, that’s true. But, when I review your service to this ship, your crewmates, I cannot in all conscience make you wait for the Academy. You see, Wesley, in my eyes you’re an acting ensign in title only. I hereby grant you field promotion to full Ensign, with all the commensurate responsibilities and privileges of that rank. Congratulations. You’re dismissed.
Analysis
This episode thinks it’s funny. It’s wrong. If anything, it’s a deeply disturbing portrait of female impotence and oppression. Pretty much everything that’s played for laughs here manages to be misogynistic and creepy.
First, we have Lwaxana’s loud rejection of DaiMon Tog at the reception. Deanna (and supposedly, the audience) winces in embarrassment–oh mom, how could you be so rude! But you know what? Lwaxana is absolutely right here. DaiMon Tog has no right to go up to her and declare his attraction, let alone offer to “buy” her. This is a professional conference. They do not know each other. He has no right whatsoever to her attention, let alone anything else. Yet Deanna chastises her behavior! She tells her mother that she’s rude, and putting on too many airs (when she points out that the sacred chalice isn’t so great) by humiliating him publicly. What a load of sexist crap. In trying to paint Lwaxana as the “rude” one, the episode condemns her behavior and completely sidesteps how disgusting and inappropriate DaiMon Tog’s behavior was. Sure, we’re supposed to think he’s gross, but gosh, Lwaxana, you didn’t have to be a jerk, right? Actually, no. She had every right to be a jerk to him. He insinuated himself into her sphere and her space, propositioned her in a professional setting, and refused to take no for an answer. He gave up the privilege of politeness, and I am furious that the writers wanted me to think anything different. This is a tired sexist cliche. If a man makes a pass at you at work, on the street, or on the subway, you’re supposed to be flattered. If you yell at him, tell him to go away, you’re the jerk. Screw that. Go Lwaxana.
Second, we have Lwaxana’s decision to flirt (and more) with Tog to try and buy her daughter time. This is beyond disturbing. The fact that Lwaxana is forced (or at the very least, coerced and left without a meaningful choice, since the alternative is a torture chair) into sexually “stimulating” Tog to try to save her life is sexual assault. Period, do not pass go, go straight to jail. Is it supposed to be funny that Lwaxana will whore herself out for her only child? Because it’s not. It’s awful. You know what else isn’t funny? That in the end, Tog asks if Picard will “forget” the whole thing and Picard suggests he may report Tog’s incompetency as a captain, but there is absolutely no suggestion that Tog should be punished for, gee, kidnapping and attempted rape. Because hahaha it’s all just fun and games, right? No, TNG. No it’s not. It’s unwanted touching and involuntary incarceration and at least the first half of an SVU episode.
Lastly, we have the big “showdown” between Picard and Tog. It’s fun to watch Picard ham it up, sure. But the sad fact remains that we have two men fighting over a woman, treating them as property to be won–conquests. They’re nothing but property (or, in a different sense, victims), utterly powerless except in their sexual wiles, and even those aren’t strong enough to earn their freedom. It’s not Deanna that gets she and Riker out of the cage, it’s Riker, by “manning up” against Nibor. Deanna doesn’t do squat. She doesn’t send the subspace signal, she doesn’t even distract the Ferengi. These women still need big strong men to come in and save them, and in the end the stronger man with the bigger ship and the bigger guns wins. Isn’t this supposed to be the future? Isn’t Deanna right in refusing her mother’s insistence that she give up her career to marry, because she feels empowered by her work and relishes her independence? Guess not.
At least we have that awesome B-plot where Wesley gets a field commission–hahahahahahahahahahahaha… haha… ha. If this is an oral exam, why does he have to be shuttled anywhere anyway? Don’t they have FaceTime? Why would Riker even pick the conference elevator music as his subspace signal? Why is Wesley the only one who can figure that out? Why is THAT what earns him a field commission? Why are there field commissions on a giant diplomatic shuttle van in a time of peace?
One of the absolute worsts.
Proposed: The only successful Star Trek comedy was Star Trek IV. See: Star Trek V, “The Outrageous Okona,” “Manhunt.” Discuss.
Torie’s Rating: Warp Core Meltdown (on a scale of 1-6)
Thread Alert: A periwinkle pirate shirt (complete with deep, chest hair-baring V-neck) and a rejected 80s prom dress: This is what these people choose to wear on their day off.
Best Line: LWAXANA (after she and Deanna are beamed aboard naked): I should have known. Even their transporters can’t be trusted.
Trivia/Other Notes: Co-writer (and Gene Roddenberry’s secretary) Susan Sackett said that this story evolved out of a play on O. Henry’s “The Ransom of Red Chief.”
Director Legato later revealed that Gene was very much invested in Wesley’s promotion, and in honor of the event he gave Wil Wheaton the second lieutenant bars he earned in the Army Air Corps (second lieutenant being equivalent to an ensign in the US Navy). Present at the ceremony (though it’s not clear to me if this was merely a happy coincidence) was General Colin Powell, who at the time was the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
The Ferengi torture chair is a dentist’s chair. Har har.
If you don’t recognize his face, you should recognize his voice. Dr. Farek is played by Ethan Phillips, destined to be the Talaxian everyone loves to hate–Neelix–in Voyager. I’ve come to believe that it’s not his fault, though. You may recognize him from better outings like Lean on Me, Glory, or dozens of other TVs and movies. He’s also an accomplished stage actor, appearing most recently in Terrence McNally’s Golden Age.
You know, we never get to talk about Mr. Homn. Carel Struycken is a Dutch actor raised on Curacao, who wrote many Caribbean ballads before he began his acting career. You probably know him as Lurch from the various Addams Family movies. He’s over seven feet tall (due to the medical condition giantism) and was “discovered” when he was in Hollywood for a directing program and a woman stopped her car in the middle of the street on Hollywood and Vine to tell him she needed him for a movie: Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Frank Corsentino, who plays DaiMon Tog, previously appeared as DaiMon Bok in “The Battle.”
If you didn’t get enough of this story the first time, Lwaxana will tell Odo all about it in DS9’s “The Forsaken.”
Previous episode: Season 3, Episode 23 – “Sarek.”
Next episode: Season 3, Episode 25 – “Transfigurations.”
It truly is an abysmal episode. Utterly without redeeming features. The best that can be said for it, really, is that is spawned a couple of Internet memes. There’s a shot of Picard declaiming with one arm outstretched which is often caption with “WTF is this shit!?” and another where he’s doing “Who’s awesome? You’re awesome.” Well, that and Wes’ first appearance in uniform is the original of the terrifying Velvet Wesley. Seriously, beyond that it’s got nothing.
I would also rate “The Trouble with Tribbles” as a successful Star Trek comedy. DS9 comes reasonably close a few times: “Trials and Tribble-ations”, “Our Man Bashir” and “Little Green Men” come to mind. But TNG never succeeds at comedy for more than a single scene throughout its entire seven years.
The Huntington is well worth a visit if you’re in the LA area. The library has a number of prominent artworks and a Gutenberg bible. The gardens are quite nice, but I prefer the LA County Arboretum for that sort of thing.
When I saw that you had landed with this episode to writ-up, Torie, I actually cringed. Because this really is one of the worst TNG episodes of all time and the abhorrent sexist attitudes are so profound it makes me feel dirty to think about it. *shudder*
I really don’t understand why Majel Barrett would ever agree to do this episode. Didn’t she have more pull than that? Or maybe the episode was far more true to life in the Star Trek production world than I’d ever want to know.
When I told my wife I was about to watch this I commented, “Ugh. Not a good episode. ‘Menage a Troi.'” She asked me how an episode with that title could be bad, and I responded with, “Ferengi.” She agreed that was the one word that could make it really awful.
I completely agree with Torie on all points about the awful sexism, the grossness of seeing Lwaxana pretend with Tog, this episode’s complete failure at comedy. I had a really bad feeling about it as soon as I saw Susan Sackett credited as one of the writers, knowing that (she, at least claims) Roddenberry had an affair with her, and hey, his wife is in this episode. I mean, what? So you might expect some interesting takes on feminism and what is appropriate behavior, I’m just saying.
I was so proud of Lwaxana for publicly shaming Tog, and then equally horrified that Deanna was embarrassed about her behavior. Lwaxana is both an incredibly strong person when she wants to be, but also someone who believes that women need men and babies to have purpose — and I just can’t reconcile those two attitudes.
Where did this rekindled romance between Riker and Troi come from, and why does it disappear again just as quickly?
The whole thing about the written and oral exam for Starfleet Academy also seems off and overly complicated, and the setup for him missing it (to rescue Starfleet officers, no less!) and having to wait another year to enter the Academy is absurd. Picard and Roddenberry and the creative team just wanted an excuse to make him a full ensign and keep him on the show, and it’s even more ridiculous and insulting to those who have had to work hard for that same opportunity and gone through the proper channels. On the other hand, at least he’s finally in a proper uniform.
I laughed a couple of times. Well, at least once:
PICARD: Perhaps later, Lwaxana. Mister Data and I were just about to show Reittan Grax the er, the er, the new door mechanisms on the aft turbolifts. If you’ll excuse us?
But I otherwise winced my way through this. Blissfully, I also dozed off for a bit.
The best thing about this episode really is that it has generated internet memes, and that isn’t necessarily something to be proud of.
My score: Warpcore Meltdown.
I like to think that, after shooting the scene in which Capt. Picard has to declaim bits of Shakespeare’s sonnets to pretend he’s madly in love with Lwaxana, Patrick Stewart went back to his dressing room, collapsed into a chair and had a breakdown like Alan Rickman’s in Galaxy Quest: “I was an actor once. I played Richard III. Now look at me–look at me!”
I can’t remember that TNG ever pulled off a funny episode like TOS did with “The Trouble with Tribbles.” Little bits and pieces of “Qpid” made me smile although overall the episode is almost as dreadful as this one. I somewhat disagree that Star Trek IV is a successful Trek comedy. It’s not a horrible movie but the fish-out-of-water jokes got old very fast.
I’d forgotten that this was the episode that cemented Wesley’s undeserved ascension. That’s right, kids: no need to work hard and spend years in training to be a Starfleet officer. Just be the nerdy son of the captain’s special friend and you’re in! Ironically going to the Academy only hurt Wesley’s career but, well, he wouldn’t be the first guy who wrecked his life in college. The pan up Wesley in his spanking new uniform is hilariously reminiscent of a similar scene in Marty Scorsese’s GoodFellas, only there it’s young and flash Henry Hill in his vulgar new duds bought with dirty money (“My god, you look like a gangster!”)
Pardon the double post: I wish to add that I actually like Lwaxana Troi as a character. Indeed she’s one of the few TNG characters at all who has an intriguing personality. Yet whenever she shows up you know the episode’s going to be a bad one. I really don’t get it.
Makes watching a dwarf climb on to Kirk’s back and ride him like a pony seem almost watchable in the comparison.
http://www.theviewscreen.com/platos-stepchildren/
By definition Star Trek comedies have to be rather cute and inconsequential to a certain degree though there ARE some successful examples. Torie forgets e.g. her own Warp 6 mark for Déjà Q.
Regarding the whole approach to women, well Rodenberry was – to put it politely – a sexist swine. This is the most cringeworthy aspect of the whole Star Trek mythology. Even when we got strong women on DS9 they were rather men’s fantasies a la Lara Croft who look hot and can fight well. I wouldn’t place too much attention on it, but it’s obviously impossible when a script is so terribly misjudged as this one surely is.
Finally this episode shows off a weakness of Stewart’s acting, namely he isn’t able to ham it up. His final over the top love declaration is incredibly wooden. Stewart’s limitations are often overlooked because he’s supposed to be the great Shakespearan actor with his marvelous voice, but there are times when he is totally out of his depth like e.g. in Generations where Shatner acts circles around him.
All excellent comments, Torie, on the deeply disturbing “humor” this episode attempts to make out of kidnapping, sexual assault, and torture of women. The icing on the cake, for me, is that the women, once safe, are absolutely fine and Lwaxana is sitting on Picard’s lap, doing her usual awkward flirting with him.
Because sexual assault isn’t serious if you haven’t “actually” been “raped”, and once you’re safe, there is no trauma or anything to work through. This reminded me of when Yeoman Rand was almost raped by Kirk’s evil half, and is later almost apologizing to Kirk for the awkwardness and saying everything is fine. No actual penetration, so no harm done, no trauma, back to business as usual. As an aside, wasn’t Whoopi Goldberg the one who made the ridiculous “rape rape” comment a few years back?
Why does Wesley have to keep taking these stupid exams? If he’s already an acting officer, he should just go straight to the academy. He’s basically already in Starfleet. I get sick of the build up and fake drama around this.
One more thing…I would say that the men didn’t do all the saving in this at all. Lwaxana did what she had to do to save her daughter and herself, as do many real survivors of sexual violence. People frequently cite the “heroes” in these terrible situations as the people that save the survivors from their captivity. But all survivors of sexual violence are heroes because they survived, and usually did despicable things in order to do so. We call them survivors instead of victims because coming out alive is a huge accomplishment that should never be diminished. It is never weak when your abuser has all the power and control and you have none. Ugh, I hate this episode.
It’s a Lwaxana episode, it’s a Ferengi episode, it’s an episode where Wesley saves the day… this episode was like some sort of perfect storm of crap.
It’s a Lwaxana episode, it’s a Ferengi episode, it’s an episode where Wesley saves the day… and all the stuff you said too. This episode was like some sort of perfect storm of crap.
@7 Lubitsch:
I don’t think the terrible hamming it up was a display of Patrick Stewart’s acting limitations at all. I think that was exactly the way Stewart wanted to portray the scene and he pulled it off magnificently. It’s just too bad that he probably had to have a stiff drink of something stronger than Earl Grey afterwards to take the taste of the experience out of his mouth.
@7 (Lubitsch): Finally this episode shows off a weakness of Stewart’s acting, namely he isn’t able to ham it up. His final over the top love declaration is incredibly wooden. Stewart’s limitations are often overlooked because he’s supposed to be the great Shakespearan actor with his marvelous voice, but there are times when he is totally out of his depth like e.g. in Generations where Shatner acts circles around him.
You know, I think you’ve got a point there. I find myself thinking of Stewart’s playing of Gurney Halleck in David Lynch’s Dune movie. He’s just dreadful, barking out all of his lines in the same tone of voice, and really it does sound quite similar to his stilted sonnet-quoting in this Trek episode. Possibly it’s not because Stewart has a weakness as an actor, though, but rather that he’s not able to throw himself fully into playing a weak role. I’d rather eat my own underwear than claim that William Shatner is a better actor overall than Patrick Stewart but Shatner seems to be quite at ease with second-rate material while Stewart looks and sounds uncomfortable, like he’s forcing the lines out.
@10 (J T Dogzone): And don’t forget, on top of all of those things, it’s an episode where TNG attempts to get sexy. The results are always nauseating (cf. any Risa episode.)
@12 toryx:
You misunderstood. I wish he would have hammed it up, but he didn’t and probably couldn’t. This is one or the worst acted scenes of Stewart in the whole series, he shows zero comic timing or exaggeration.
@13 monoceros4:
That’s a very elegant way to explain weaknesses away.
However the adoration of ST fans for Patrick Stewart’s acting fits into an old pattern of evaluating actor’s performances. This pattern is defined by some simple rules. Old actors are better than young. Actors with theatre expoerience are better than those without. Actors who play in serious or independent stuff are better than those in comedy or mainstream. Less attractive players are better than good looking ones.
Stewart has a powerful presence and a distinctive voice. He’s a very good choice for the captain and fine with all the command situations as well as quiet intimate scenes which he can dominate with his voice. But he’s pretty helpless in anything over the top requiring a meatier approach. Like the rest of the cast he also struggled at the beginning of the series because he didn’t immediately find the way how to play Picard that he doesn’t come off as an arrogant jerk.
And yes, Shatner can be a better actor than Stewart. I’m fully aware that in the USA he’s a public figure with lots of self-irony about his acting abilities, but he’s a very forceful and charismatic actor. Save for some famous scenes he often had a tight hold on his tendencies to overact during the series and being an expressive actor is no shame, De Niro isn’t also exactly a deadpan actor.
But both actors are perfectly cast for their respective series. Stewart’s qualities fit very well the tendency of the series to hold sermons and use speeches in dramatic moments as well as its team approach for solving problems with Picard at the head of the table asking for suggestions and implementing the action.
In the films he was however a ridiculous choice for the “I’ve got to do this alone” stock action character and I’ll never forgive him the idiotic car chase in Nemesis.
Pardon the digression, but it’s hard to talk about the episode at hand …
@ 14 Lemaitre
I don’t disagree with what you’re saying, but I don’t think that everyone attributes Stewart’s acting to being good just because he’s a classically trained, older actor. I think he’s a wonderful actor, but I also admired several of the actors on “The Office”, especially Jim and Pam, or Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles on “Supernatural”. I also think one of the better actors on TNG was actually Levar Burton. He was just handed a frequently pathetic script.
I think Patrick Stewart is at his best for subtle things– like his Picard on “Yesterday’s Enterprise”. He was still Picard, but different, edgier and colder because of the war he was fighting. Or when he goes home to France after being rescued from the Borg and cries to his brother about having their “parts” in him. I did love the punch he gave Finn in “High Ground”. Some TNG scenes and lines were terrible and he did the best he could. Maybe he’s not totally hammy in this awful episode because he’s also uncomfortable doing it as Picard. He doesn’t want to fight for Lwaxana and he doesn’t want to cater to the Ferengi and the whole thing is so ridiculous, he really can’t ham it up.
I do think William Shatner does some good acting. I liked him a lot in “Generations”, but I don’t like him in the original series. Some of that I attribute to how actors were supposed to be in the 60’s, not to lack of talent.
I’ve taken some time to think about the treatment of women in this and other Star Trek episodes. At first, I was just going to try to point out such treatment as an artifact of Star Trek’s place in TV history – referencing shows like Dallas, All In The Family and The Jeffersons – but I’ve come to realize it is not as simple as that. Women are still treated poorly in many ways in current shows and movies. Two examples of that come to mind quickly for me. First. Lyla Novacek’s life in August Rush is strictly controlled by her father who seems to treat her like a trophy daughter. She eventually breaks away, but what he had done to her (that led to her action) was unforgivable. Within this is a suggestion that she might not have broken away if his actions had not been that bad.
Then a scene in the Dreamworks animated feature How To Train Your Dragon shows Hiccup (teen boy) and Toothless (dragon) abducting Astrid (teen girl) from a trail and taking her for a ride to make her change her mind about killing dragons. Within the context of the (sort of) Viking culture in which the story is set this action may not be all that out of place, but is it an action we want today’s children to think is all right? I’m sure that anyone reading this could find their own examples of such treatment in today’s entertainment.
On the other topic in discussion. I think that Patrick Stewart may not be comfortable with schlock material. I remember being underwhelmed by his appearance on Saturday Night Live and even worse was my reaction to his performance in the 1997 film Masterminds. Do yourself a favor and do not bother seeing this one. A not so good teen actor gave a better performance than Stewart in that one. The Will Wheaton film Toy Soldiers was better than this one, but that’s not saying much.
@16 Ludon: Stewart may not have been comfortable with schlock at the time, but he’s grown into it. The lines he delivers on “American Dad!” are absolutely bonkers, and his delivery is generally what sells them.
I agree with Torie & Eugene and most of the commenters about this one, but to the pantheon of successful Star Trek comedies (just up to this point; as of this writing I’ve only watched through the end of TNG season three) I grant Star Trek IV and “The Trouble With Tribbles” and would add “A Piece of the Action” and the TAS episode “Mudd’s Passion.”
Yes, the episode is pretty bad, but I disagree with Torie on one of her points.
“DaiMon Tog has no right to go up to her and declare his attraction.”
I think he absolutely does have that right. He’s free to speak his mind, and so is she. She’s perfectly within her rights to make a spectacle and loudly reject him, too. The fact that this is in the context of a professional conference strikes me as irrelevant, especially given that they’re at a social function at the time.
Turning to the argument (perhaps more interesting) that Tog was morally or socially in error for his advances, I have mixed views. Certainly I wouldn’t offer to buy a woman, but that was (and continues to be) the culture of many civilizations. The Ferengi have a very “free market” society, so I don’t find it especially surprising that purchasing partnership would be part of it. He was doing what he thought was right. Perhaps he could be faulted for not knowing (or trying to understand) what Lwaxana would expect from a suitor. That criticism makes much more sense because knowing what people want is Business 101.
Expressing interest is in no way immoral, and it certainly shouldn’t be stigmatized. He made an advance. She was indirect in her refusal. He tried again, and she was more direct. Up to this point, I have no problem with their interaction. Everyone was perfectly within their rights at all times. If you like a woman, you tell her. Don’t harass, don’t be threatening, but do tell her.
I completely agree that Tog’s later actions are entirely immoral and should be criminal. International politics is rife with such episodes. I don’t imagine things get easier in space. For one humorous incident, see: http://edition.cnn.com/2013/06/16/world/europe/russia-putin-ring/.
Lastly, I find it entirely consistent that Lwaxana should be strong-minded, in search of a husband, and wanting her daughter to follow in her steps. Those things are in no way incompatible with one another.
I’ve always had a problem with privileging people who survive as survivors. So if you didn’t survive, it’s somehow your fault? Because that’s what you’re doing when you make one class of victims heroes (the “survivors”) and another class, well losers (the “victims”). Surviving dangerous situations might involve tenacity and heroic action, but it also might involve dumb luck. There are plenty of people who survived the Holocaust, but many many more who didn’t survive. The survivors surely are survivors, because that’s what they did, but they’re victims just like their dead fellow-sufferers.
Torie, omg THANK YOU for this. It makes a difference to have someone else also see through the misogynistic bullshit and witness this. Apparently kidnapping, sexual assault, and medical experimentation are not all that serious when they’re perpetrated against women. Everyone’s attitudes toward Daimon was gaslighting at its worst/best. No consequences for such violence. You thoughtfully unpacked a full range of sexism throughout this entire episode.