“The Dauphin”
Written by Scott Rubenstein & Leonard Mlodinow
Directed by Rob Bowman
Season 2, Episode 10
Original air date: February 20, 1989
Star date: 42568.8
Mission summary
The Enterprise picks up two mysterious otherworlders: a teenager and head of state named Salia, and her overbearing, somewhat slithery governess Anya. Troi thinks the two may not be what they seem, but can’t offer any more details or else it’ll ruin the twist. The two are headed to their home planet of Daled IV after a long period of exile. Salia’s parents were on opposite sides of a massive civil war that has engulfed the planet. They died shortly after her birth, and now it’s up to the dauphin to start the healing. Unfortunately she’s been in isolation her whole life and has built up a swell of hormones, so a chance encounter with Wesley and his superconductive magnet sparks a powerful attraction*.
*Believe it or not, I didn’t write this stuff.
And it’s True Wuv! Wesley can’t stop thinking about Salia. He calls in Data to ask about her (asking a lieutenant commander to scope out chicks for you: totally within protocol), can’t focus at work and cocks up his task in Engineering (poor Geordi has to do everything himself), and asks Worf for a primer on Klingon dating rituals (which sound awfully Jersey Shore). Sadly, the only one with real advice is Riker, who takes him to the love doctor herself: Guinan. I can’t help but repost the whole exchange, because it’s brilliant:
RIKER: Now, the first words out of your mouth are the most important. You may want to start with something like this. [To Guinan.] You are the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. But that might not work.
GUINAN: Yes. Yes, it would.
RIKER: You don’t know how long I’ve longed to tell you that.
GUINAN: But you were afraid?
RIKER: Yes.
GUINAN: Of me?
RIKER: Of us. Of what we might become.
WESLEY: Commander?
RIKER: Or that you might think that was a line.
GUINAN: Maybe I do think it’s a line.
RIKER: Then you think I’m not sincere?
GUINAN: I didn’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with a line. It’s like a knock at the door.
RIKER: Then you’re inviting me in?
GUINAN: I’m not sending you away.
RIKER: That’s more than I expected.
GUINAN: Is it as much as you hoped?
RIKER: To hope is to recognize the possibility. I had only dreams.
GUINAN: Dreams can be dangerous.
RIKER: Not these dreams. I dream of a galaxy where your eyes are stars, and the universe worships the night.
GUINAN: Careful. Putting me on a pedestal so high, you may not be able to reach me.
RIKER: Then I’ll learn how to fly. You are the heart in my day and the soul in my night.
WESLEY: I don’t think this is my style.
GUINAN: Shut up, kid. Tell me more about my eyes.
Meanwhile, Salia is going a little stir crazy. She can’t stop thinking about Wesley, the ship, the universe out there–and is worried about her mission and her role. She gets no choice in her own life, and Anya, recognizing the danger, cracks down on Salia’s privileges and freedoms so she can’t have any more tastes of the life unavailable to her.
It’s stifling work, though, so she decides to take a pleasure tour of the ship and point out potential dangers–a minute defocused area in Engineering, and a patient in Sickbay with Andronesian encephalitis. She pisses off Geordi but tries to kill the patient–wouldn’t want the dauphin to get infected! And that’s when we discover…. she’s an allasomorph! It’s Daledian for “Budget Cuts!”
A poorly costumed Anya has a mixed-gender fight with Worf, and wins. She smugly agrees not to kill the patient and Picard orders her to house arrest in her luxurious quarters until she can learn to behave more reasonably. Unbeknownst to her, though, Wesley showed up at Salia’s door while the babysitter was away and the two have been having the date of a lifetime. First he introduces her to chocolate, then he takes her to the holodeck, and finally they end up at Ten Forward. But as the evening goes on, Salia seems more and more depressed, making Wesley feel self-conscious. Is it him? (It is.) Salia confesses so much awe and wonder at the world he lives in. He says she can stay on the Enterprise if she chooses, they can sail the seven galaxies together!–but this just sends her into tears and she runs from the room.
SALIA: Stay away from me! I’m sorry.
WESLEY: I don’t understand.
SALIA: I can’t stay here! I can’t have this life! I want it more than anything, but I can’t have it!
WESLEY: Salia, nothing is impossible.
SALIA: Not for you.
WESLEY: There’s a way. I know there is!
Actually, there isn’t! Anya finds Salia and locks her up in her room, and Picard calls Wesley into his office to tell him to stay away from her for diplomatic reasons. But now that Salia has had a taste of the Wes she can’t seem to live without him. She sneaks out again to find him in his quarters playing Battleship with himself (his life isn’t as glamorous as it seemed, okay?). The two share a kiss just as Anya finds them, enraged, and both “morph” to crappy costumes for some lady-wrestling. Wesley is terrified. A guilty-looking Salia leaves, and the Enterprise finally arrives at its destination.
Salia feels pretty badly for lying to Wes about being human and all, so she finds him again to apologize but he angrily turns her away, refusing to give her the goodbye she wanted. She walks to the transporter pad, alone. But Wes shows up at the last minute with some chocolate mousse and an apology, gets to see her revert to her natural state of pure energy before she beams back to take her place among her people.
A sulking Wesley cries on Guinan’s shoulder:
WESLEY: Seeing her on the transporter pad, it was like seeing pure light. I miss her. I feel empty.
GUINAN: I know that sensation. But there’ll come a time when all you remember is the love.
WESLEY: I’m never going to feel this way about anyone else.
GUINAN: You’re right.
WESLEY: I didn’t expect you to say that.
GUINAN: There’ll be others, but every time you feel love it’ll will be different. Every time, it’s different.
WESLEY: Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier.
GUINAN: It’s not supposed to.
Analysis
This is basically a less charming version of Roman Holiday. As in that film, a lot of flaws are forgiven with good performances, great comedy, and a heart-tugging final act. As not at all in that film, the two main romantic leads have absolutely no chemistry.
The main story’s solid, if a little inexplicable. How exactly is this girl going to unite two warring factions she’s never so much as seen? Who’s been leading them in the meantime? Will it be a coup? If the two “cultures” grow on opposite sides of a planet like that, wouldn’t they be different species by now? It’d be like us going to war with the octopus. They live in the sea! We live on land! There’s nothing to fight over!
If we take Salia’s role at face value (as I suppose we must), Salia’s angst is believably depressing. Her situation is genuinely shitty and as someone who doesn’t necessarily sympathize with privileged royalty, I did feel for her. She’s like a futuristic Princess de Cleves, expressing the same melancholic, inescapable feeling of doom that aristocratic women struggled with for centuries. As a more realistic twist on “Elaan of Troyius” it certainly works, and it also wins by allowing a young woman to feel conflicted about a duty other than marriage (I AM LOOKING AT YOU, TROI). It’s also a pleasure to have her as an audience stand-in–open and inviting of the world of Star Trek, and yet never able to be part of it (but there’s always hope, they say).
The side plots and tangents are full of gems, too. I’ll never forget Riker and Guinan’s back-and-forth; it’s pitch-perfect both as comedy and satire of conventional romances. I like Worf’s 101 on Klingon dating (Michael Dorn: owning crap characterization since 1987), and his friendly antagonism with Anya is fabulous and there should have been more of it. I didn’t understand why the episode shuttled Picard, though. If anyone can understand the sacrifice of a personal life for duty, it’s him. But Guinan’s pat-pat at the end of the episode manages honesty by avoiding cliche, and always makes me nod along.
Essentially everything works except the romance. I still can’t buy it. The two of them are neutered and bloodless. Their wuv is too asexual, too sterile. It feels completely manufactured. Wesley is too much a kid and Salia, sadly, looks like 30 and like she’d be better off having a romp with Riker. It also glosses over the awkwardness and difficulty of young love. Once Wesley gets his in (by showing up…that’s all it takes, apparently), it’s pretty much smooth sailing, which bears no resemblance to any first dates I know. And it feels weird to me that Wesley solicits every Tom, Dick, and Harry for dating advice (things I never did: CHECK), but Salia doesn’t even Google it.
Is the problem Wesley? Is it their age? Would it have worked if they had been adults, or the story had been given to actors with more chemistry? The elements are all there, but it doesn’t quiet come together.
Torie’s Rating: Warp 4 (on a scale of 1-6)
Thread Alert: WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?! Seriously, just tell me who did it, and I promise I won’t be mad.
Best Line: WESLEY: Are you telling me to go yell at Salia?
WORF: No. Men do not roar. Women roar. Then they hurl heavy objects. And claw at you.
WESLEY: What does the man do?
WORF: He reads love poetry. [Pause.] He ducks a lot.
Trivia/Other Notes: Best known trivia: Jaime Hubbard was Wil Wheaton’s first kiss. The actress is ten years older than Wheaton and this is what he has to say about the experience: “I used to get a lot of mileage out of this joke I’d tell at conventions. The first girl that Wesley fell in love with turned out to be a shape-shifter who turned into a hideous monster, y’know after he had exposed his soul to her. Which happened a lot to me in my personal life. And I was glad Star Trek was able to capture that parallel.”
The title refers to the dauphins of France. There were a lot of Louis…es.
Rob Bowman thought the mighty morphin’ costumes looked terrible (he was right!) so he tried to minimize their screen time.
Paddi Edwards, who plays Anya, has a very distinct voice. You may know her as Flotsam and Jetsam or the voice of Gozer. (Remember, kids: if someone asks if you’re a god, you say yes.)
Previous episode: Season 2, Episode 9 – “The Measure of a Man.”
Next episode: Season 2, Episode 11 – “Contagion.”
I knew I was in for it when I started MST3King along with this episode:
LAFORGE: Wesley? Wesley, you haven’t found that defocused area yet? (Check in your pants!)
WESLEY: I’m looking.
LAFORGE: Yeah, I see the way you’re looking. Wesley!
WESLEY: What? Sorry. I’ve got my mind on something.
LAFORGE: I can see that. (Says the blind man.)
And then Wesley proceeds to ask Geordi for dating advice. Talk about the blind leading the blind. At least Yar wasn’t around to offer advice…
Okay, these jokes are juvenile and in poor taste, but they seem appropriate for the teenage romantic comedy this episode turned into. I am a huge fan of young adult fiction, obviously, but not so much of the “instalove” phenomenon–not just your cliched “love at first sight,” but that certainty that no one can understand how this feels and “I’m never going to feel this way about anyone else.” As much as I dislike it, it’s still pretty accurate for some teenage experiences, so maybe it’s just hitting a bit too close to home. Guinan helps to provide a dose of adult reality, which I can appreciate now but probably discounted just as much as Wes did when I was his age.
Thing is, aside from Wesley being in the hot seat here (heh), this is just part of Star Trek‘s long tradition of making the crew members fall completely head over heels with the guest star of the week. There’s only so much character development you can fit into 46 minutes (or, let’s face it, 26 episodes a season), so we have to forgive that a little.
But I can’t forgive the shoddy special effects and costuming, which are somehow worse than some of what we saw in the sixties. If this is their attempt to evoke the original show, they’re doing it wrong. Like Torie, I also don’t buy much of the background plot; so many of these details are beside the point, because what we’re meant to focus on, and what mostly works, are the emotions involved and the pull of responsibility.
I was disappointed in Wes in this episode. First of all, he doesn’t say “As you wish” even once. Second, I couldn’t believe it when he encouraged Salia to stay on the ship. (This impulse to shirk duty provides an interesting character arc for him when viewed along with “The First Duty”). Third, he’s a total punk to her at the end of the episode. I actually wondered/hoped that he might be pretending to be mean to make sure she left. But no. Just a punk. (Also, why did he get to keep his awesome quarters when his mom left the ship?)
I also keep getting hung up on how ST handles shapeshifters in the various series, which is about as consistent as how they deal with androids. But I thought it was pretty cool when Picard told him Anya is an alassomorph and Wesley’s like, “You mean a shapeshifter?” He’s been hitting the books. (Is it just me, or did Anya remind anyone else of Evil-Lyn from He-Man? Why does she randomly turn into teenage girls and teddy bears?)
But I agree that this episode has lots of wonderful character moments and funny dialogue that I remember fondly, especially the “ducks a lot” joke and Riker and Guinan’s fauxmance. I also probably thought that Salia was cute when I was younger, but now she just seems like the poor man’s young Jennifer Connelly.
Warp 3.
The “fauxmance” exchange between Riker and Guinan is still some of my favorite writing and acting from TNG. Screwball comedy dialogue doesn’t happen often on the show, but Frakes and Goldberg nailed that scene.
Man, I totally forgot about the scene between Riker and Guinan. I had to call it up on Netflix just to enjoy it all over again. That was some good stuff and both actors seemed to really enjoy playing it out.
I didn’t really think there was chemistry between Wes and Salia either but it was certainly an important part in the character’s story arc and I thought his reaction to the whole thing (except asking for advice from everyone) was pretty true to life for adolescent boys who don’t know what the hell they’re doing. Even when he started acting like a punk because, you know, boys are stupid.
The first small chuckhole in another long stretch of bad road. Not without its charms. I’d say the series is getting the formula of its maturity slowly right, focusing most stories around the main cast of characters and involving them.
It’s interesting to compare this episode—its flatness and awkwardness—to the pervious shining episode. They’re both trying to do something analogous, explore and flesh out a particular character. In the previous episode, it was the innocence of Data; in this, it is the first crush of a young teen we’ve come to know. Analogous, yet they are light years apart in execution and dramatic presentation.
Overall, I’d count this as a middle-low episode for the series as a whole. We’ll see A LOT of these mostly forgettable episodes. But it’s worth reflecting on why they’re mostly forgettable.
“Neutered and bloodless” describes so much of TNG that I assume it was in the series Writer’s Bible somewhere.
I remember the Guinan/RIker interchange and the Worf advice, and not much else from this one. It’s an example of fine characterization being lodged in a forgettable plot–another thing we’ll be getting used to in the next few seasons.
The thing about this episode is that there’s just not that much to say about it, because it’s cookie-cutter. It’s the kind of “first-romance” thing that was bread and butter for an episodic sitcom on late-80s youth-or-family-friendly television, and it’s a perfectly adequate entry in that genre. But that genre is kind of unchallenging, like Wonder bread, or Full House. If anything the writers deserve some credit here for the good parts, the parts that don’t have to do with Wesley Crusher’s boy-crush on the foreign royal.
The episode really falls apart, as so much of the early series does, because of the insistence that Wesley be a Marty Stu — simultaneously an Everyman audience-identification figure (because what, the show was 4kidz?) with a side dollop of Alpha Geek bookworm. With that kind of characterization, boy howdy! Who wouldn’t want to see Mr. Personality Fall In Love? They’re learning that you can do an episode around character development — indeed you should — but when the character is paper-thin and unalterable and practically per contract can’t be really made to suffer, there’s nothing to develop.
So. How would this have been better if Wesley could grow or have imperfections? Well, for one thing, it’d have been more interesting if Wesley really hadn’t pulled out of his petty sulk and we’d gotten to see Blossom go back to her homeworld without a reconciliation. Maybe Wes’ conversation with Guinan could be about self-recrimination, or why did I let myself do something this stupid? Or even have him show up at the transporter room and find the princess won’t actually forgive him for being so cruel. It’d be way too racy for prime-time, but if the Princess had wanted to see a few more of the wonders of the human body knowhatimean, that could’ve been interesting, especially if it gave Wes an opportunity to be conflicted or too embarrassed to agree, and miss out a valuable growing experience.
It’d also have been nice if it were more clearly established that when they shapeshift, they really are adopting the form they take on — when Salia is a human girl, she really is a human girl, down to all the details of adolescent brain chemistry; fleshing out the fight over that could’ve been interesting too.
Ultimately though I don’t know how much more juice you could squeeze out of this relationship, simply because it’s so short and there’s just not that much to do on the ship. The kids know each other for all of two, three days tops. It only takes a moment, yadda yadda, but still, that particular dramatic unity completely forecloses the opportunity to build an authentic or complexly textured relationship, and I think that’s really the iceberg for this particular bottle episode. Or, that’s not fair — I really just mean that’s the reason the episode is stuck being a capable entry in a genre rather than transcending that genre.
I can’t help but compare this episode to “The Game,” in which Wesley has just as quick a romance with the eminently more interesting Robin Lefler, all while saving the crew from video game brain rot. I may be misremembering, but the writing and characterization are much better in the later episode. More importantly, the A-plot is much more engaging; I think the problem here is that the romance is the A-plot. And it isn’t enough. Aside from that, as far as I recall, no one in canon or out of it ever mention Salia again as the love of Wes’s life, but Robin Lefler gets name dropped all the time. That could also be the inherent difference between Jaime Hubbard and the more recognizable Ashley Judd.
Deep Thought may be on to something with the Marty Stu angle. Most other romances in Star Trek are the “macho” Kirk or Riker getting it on, with the Geordis and Wesleys (even Data) doomed to awkward failure. As Wes learns how to woo a woman, so do some of the viewers who may identify with him? This episode is practically a primer on getting a date for geeky kids, albeit a flawed and exaggerated one. I mean, I wouldn’t follow all that advice, but there are some decent tips in there. And no one tells Wesley to try to pretend to be someone he isn’t. Salia likes him just the way he is.
—i think it is a charming and entertaining episode—somewhat harmless and innocent–i honestly don’t understand the antipathy that some hold for wil wheaton–i really don’t have a problem with most of his performances–he is after all, mr. roddenberry–
A mediocre plot held up by some good acting. There really isn’t a whole lot more to say about this one. Wes’ quest for dating advice was pretty good, and the Riker/Guinan scene saves the episode.
Torie’s right that there’s just no chemistry between Wesley and Salia, which seriously weakens the plot. But expecting chemistry here is really asking way too much of the principles. By his own admission, Wil Wheaton was a shy, geeky 16-year old kid who had less of a clue when it comes to girls than the guy he was portraying. Pairing him up with an attractive woman was doomed to failure. Casting a girl closer in age would probably have worked better. The Wesley/Leffler match-up worked because the actors were closer in age and Wheaton was probably more comfortable with himself and with females in general.
Something that jumped out at me here is that TNG has a very unhealthy (for Star Trek and what it stands for) fascination with hierarchical, oligarchic to monarchic cultures. TOS had a few, but they were generally presented in a less than favorable light or as a contrast to the democratic Federation. In TNG, we seem to be supposed to take them at face value and not find problems with them. Often it’s just lazy writing, but it fits poorly.
What’s wrong with hierarchic, oligarchic, or monarchic cultures, precisely?
@ 1 Eugene
I actually didn’t mind either of Wesley’s mistakes: suggesting Salia stay on the ship, and being an asshole to her at the end. Both actions strike me as shallow, thoughtless moments of selfishness–things I entirely expect to see from a teen boy who’s never dated before (and some who have…).
@ 2 Jason Erik Lundberg
Seconded!
@ 7 Eugene
I do not have fond memories of “The Game.” I think you may be glossing over it…
@ 9 DemetriosX
I’ve seen plenty of movies/TV with good chemistry between the teenagers. This is not one of them. Definitely a casting issue, though I’m not sure such a young Wil Wheaton would have had chemistry with much of anyone. He lacks confidence and any sexuality whatsoever.
As far as hierarchical, oligarchic, monarchic cultures: it’s a little difficult for our heroes to interact with anything more egalitarian and still have compelling guest stars (otherwise who are they viewscreening to, the entire cabinet?). My main issue is that they do with culture what Star Wars did with geography: it’s the
iceMongolian planet! It’s thedesertHedonistic planet! As if an entire planet populated with intelligent life would all evolve the same culture…Weird. Last night I wrote a longish response to S. Hutson Blount @10 and it appears to have vanished. Basically, I pointed out that the ideals of the Federation are essentially egalitarian and democratic. In TOS, cultures that didn’t fit that bill were presented as negative examples or were shown the value of the Federation’s ethos. But in TNG, we’re supposed to just accept these hierarchical, sometimes downright tyrannical cultures as they are, because that’s the way they do things there. No value judgments, no criticism, nothing. It just doesn’t really fit with the ideals of Star Trek.
@11 Torie
I agree that at that age Wil Wheaton had little chance of developing chemistry with a romantic co-star, but putting him up against someone that much older than he was a terrible mistake. We’ve been looking at this from his perspective, but it must have been pretty hard for her too. She was presented with this kid she was supposed to feign interest in. It was doomed from the start, where someone closer to Wheaton’s age at the time would have at least had a chance of developing something.
As for the dramatic problems of dealing with a hierarchical etc. society, I disagree. There’s still going to be a head of state/government for them to deal with. But there are so many with absolute power or some sort of mystical power of kingship. It stinks.
As for the monolithic cultures, there’s nothing new about that to TNG. And they do occasionally attempt to show us a planet with at least a couple of cultures, usually in conflict. But there’s a reason Planet of Hats is a trope.
The monoculture is in many ways a hold over from the sailing ship adventure stories, where ships traveled between exotic island with exotic tribe. On small islands you do get monocultures, but extending it to planets is silly. (this sorts of dovetails in my problems with NextGen Klingons, I find it hard to understand how they have scientist and tech, and all the support staff a militray forces needs.)
Royalty and dictators gets used a lot because it make the writing easier. If you have a shared powered system, one person is much harder to be either indespensable amd therefore vital to the plot, or unquestioned in their power, making them vital to the plot. The same reason so little fictiion deals witht he enlisted, without the authority to issue orders it is much harder to craft them as protagonists of the tales.
I don’t have a strong memory of this episode from when it aired, but I suspect I probably had a “le sigh…” feeling going on. I think it’s been mentioned here before about Wesley seemingly being a combination of a Mary Sue for Roddenberry and an ‘audience surrogate aboard ship” for the audience. Since I’m about 35 days younger than Wil Wheaton, and that in my youth I was probably more like Wesley than I should admit to.. the stories with his character sometimes resonated more strongly with me than the average episode did.
Someone mentioning “The Game”, reminds me of a real-life experience that was a little too close to it.. but that’s a story for later. Interesting that Jaime Hubbard is 10 years older than we are. At the time, I had no idea, and didn’t really care about that. :)
Though the Paddi Edwards connections are a little spooky for me now. Didn’t know she was Flotsam & Jetsam, or that she had passed away so many years ago. Whoever they used to replace her for the voices in the “Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom” game really nailed the creepy vibe for them. And also didn’t know that she was one of the Fates in “Hercules”, which I just watched for the first time the other day.
I’m surprised we had several comments on Paddi (Flotsam and Jetsam) Edwards… but nobody noted that Anya’s teenage girl incarnation was none other than a pre-Twin Peaks, pre-Fantasy Island remake Madchen Amick.