transporter malfunction Archive

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Most Toys”

– August 1, 2013 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“The Most Toys”
Written by Shari Goodhartz
Directed by Timothy Bond

Season 3, Episode 22
Original air date: May 7, 1990
Star date: 43872.2

Mission summary

There’s a tricyanate contamination on Beta Agni II, and the only cure is ~~more cowbell~~ hytritium, a rare and volatile element that only one man in the universe seems to have: Kivas Fajo, a space trader. On the last transport to the Enterprise, Data uses his thumbprint to confirm the transaction and the datapad zaps him. Fajo’s men (and woman) plant fake Data elements on the transport, launch it out of the shuttle bay, and blow it up. Stunned, the Enterprise crew believe that Data’s been destroyed, but have to high-tail it to Beta Agni II if they want to decontaminate that water supply in time to save the planet.

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Tags: androids, emotional women, geordi has a really bad day, handwaving mumblemumble, mysteries, shakespeare, slavery, space shylock, transporter malfunction, were they drunk when they threw this one together?, why did this have to happen to our beloved legacy

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Hollow Pursuits”

Eugene Myers

– July 25, 2013 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“Hollow Pursuits”
Written by Sally Caves
Directed by Cliff Bole

Season 3, Episode 21
Original air date: April 30, 1990
Star date: 43807.4

Mission summary

A lieutenant engineer we’ve never seen before, Barclay, is drinking in Ten Forward when La Forge reminds him that he’s on duty. Barclay blows off his superior, then wrestles even Commander Riker into submission and sends the two of them packing, while Counselor Troi looks on avidly. Just as she’s throwing herself at him, he’s ordered to report to one of the cargo bays. Guess they’ll have to pick this up later, which it turns out will be easy as easy as saying “Save program,” because he’s been playing out a fantasy on the holodeck.

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Tags: barclay surprises people, holodeck, holodreck, illusions, lack of holodeck privacy, loneliness, mysteries, not everyone loves riker, sexism, transporter malfunction, troi is useless, Wesley is a smartypants

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Contagion”

Eugene Myers

– August 30, 2012 8:00 amPosted in: TNG Re-Watch

“Contagion”
Written by Steve Gerber & Beth Woods
Directed by Joseph L. Scanlan

Season 2, Episode 11
Original air date: March 20, 1989
Star date: 42609.1

Mission summary

Enterprise risks entering the Neutral Zone to rendezvous with her sister ship, the Yamato, which is suffering serious system malfunctions. As her dour captain Donald Varley tells them that he’s lost an engineering team and the Yamato is continuing to fall apart, Data downloads her ship logs and notices one tiny, insignificant hiccup in the process that probably doesn’t mean anything.

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Tags: advanced aliens, advanced technology, androids, archaeology rocks, computers, did you try turning it off and turning it back on again, electrocution, Iconians, magic portals, malware, romulans, tea earl grey hot, transporter malfunction, viruses

Re-watching Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Torie Atkinson & Eugene Myers

– November 3, 2011 8:00 amPosted in: Movies

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Screenplay by: David Loughery
Story by: William Shatner & Harve Bennett & David Loughery
Produced by: Harve Bennett
Directed by: William Shatner

Release date: June 9, 1989
Stardate: 8454.1

Mission Summary

Shore leave at Yosemite Park is cut short by a hostage situation on the planet Nimbus III, where a Vulcan named Sybok has taken three ambassadors hostage. The Enterprise is dispatched to resolve the situation, and they find that Sybok is Spock’s fully Vulcan half-brother. He has a unique ability to purge a person’s pain, a neat trick that both Spock and McCoy take him up on (Kirk refuses, saying his pain makes him human). Unfortunately, Sybok also happens to be a raving cultist in search of god at the planet Sha Ka Ree in the center of the universe. Meanwhile, a Klingon named Klaa is in pursuit of Kirk, for personal glory and because the movie needed explosions.

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Re-Watching Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Eugene Myers & Torie Atkinson

– October 6, 2011 8:00 amPosted in: Movies

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Screenplay by: Harold Livingston
Story by: Alan Dean Foster
Produced by: Gene Roddenberry
Directed by: Robert Wise

Release date: December 7, 1979
Stardate: 7410.2

Mission Summary

A giant space cloud, impervious to conventional weapons but massively destructive, is headed straight for Earth. Naturally the Enterprise, fresh from a renovation, is the only ship in interception range. Admiral Kirk temporarily takes control of the ship from its captain, Captain Decker, and reassembles his old crew–including Spock, who just failed to complete the Kolinahr–to confront the cloud.

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Tags: alien probes, best music ever, breeding, computers, distinct lack of half-naked man-wrestling, godlike powers, kirk is a jerk, klingons, moby dick, Nomad, sexy ladies, transporter malfunction, wormhole, yawn

Star Trek Re-Watch: “That Which Survives”

Eugene Myers & Torie Atkinson

– January 27, 2011 8:00 amPosted in: TOS Re-Watch

“That Which Survives”
Written by John Meredyth Lucas
Story by Michael Richards
Directed by Herb Wallerstein

Season 3, Episode 17
Production episode: 3×14
Original air date: January 24, 1969
Star date: Unknown

Mission summary

Enterprise is in orbit around what appears to be a “ghost planet,” a planetary body lousy with vegetation despite the fact that it’s only a few thousand years old. Its mass and atmosphere resemble Earth’s (of course), though it’s only the size of Earth’s moon. The crew can’t turn down an opportunity to dig deeper into this mystery and explore “a planet that even Spock can’t explain,” so Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, Sulu, and Senior Geologist D’Amato prepare to beam down.

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Tags: abandoned civilizations, computers, emotion, godlike powers, handwaving mumblemumble, hollow planet, loneliness, loyalty, matter-antimatter, purple, reverse polarity, rocks, sexy ladies, stranded, transporter malfunction, viruses

Star Trek Re-Watch: “The Tholian Web”

Eugene Myers & Torie Atkinson

– December 2, 2010 8:00 amPosted in: TOS Re-Watch

“The Tholian Web”
Written by Judy Burns and Chet Richards
Directed by Herb Wallerstein and Ralph Senensky (uncredited)

Season 3, Episode 9
Production episode: 3×09
Original air date: November 15, 1968
Star date:5693.2

Mission summary

On the Enterprise bridge, Chekov and Sulu look like they regret whatever they had for lunch, but it turns out that space itself is disagreeing with them–Spock reports that it’s “literally breaking up.” Kirk is used to bad breakups, but this is causing all sorts of wonky sensor readings and the warp engines are inexplicably losing power. Then Chekov notices a ghostly ship ahead on the main viewscreen: the U.S.S. Defiant, a Constitution-class Federation ship which has been missing for three weeks. In this case they can only trust what they see with their own eyes, because sensors indicate their sister ship isn’t actually there. There’s no response to hails, so there’s only one thing to do–beam aboard to check things out.

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Tags: big heads, dead crews, emmy award, fisheye camera, fully clothed man-wrestling, ghosts, handwaving mumblemumble, interphase, mad russian, parallel universes, space madness, Spock-blocking, tholians, tractor beam, transporter malfunction, web

Star Trek Re-Watch: “The Gamesters of Triskelion”

Eugene Myers & Torie Atkinson

– April 22, 2010 12:27 amPosted in: TOS Re-Watch

“The Gamesters of Triskelion”
Written by Margaret Armen
Directed by Gene Nelson

Season 2, Episode 16
Production episode: 2×17
Original air date: January 5, 1968
Star date: 3211.7

Mission summary

Enterprise is assigned to check on the automatic communications and astrogation stations on an uninhabited planet, Gamma II. Kirk, Uhura, and Chekov are all set to beam down when they abruptly disappear from the transporter pad without the usual shining and whining beam effect. Scotty’s a miracle worker, but even he isn’t good enough to work the transporter without touching the controls—he has no idea what happened, or where they are. Spock is dubious.

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Tags: Barbarella, brains, face punching, free will, gambling problems, half-naked man-wrestling, love conquers all, quatloos, slavery, space douches, transporter malfunction

Star Trek Re-Watch: “The Enemy Within”

Eugene Myers & Torie Atkinson

– April 21, 2009 11:53 pmPosted in: TOS Re-Watch

“The Enemy Within”
Written by Richard Matheson
Directed by Leo Penn

Season 1, Episode 5
Production episode: 1×04
Original air date: October 6, 1966
Star date: 1672.1

Mission summary
On a routine survey mission on planet Alfa 177, geological technician Fisher injures himself and beams up to the Enterprise covered in a strange yellow ore. The transporter suffers technical difficulties while he materializes. Chief Engineer Scott is worried enough to order that the equipment be checked out, but not worried enough to ask Captain Kirk to kindly wait five minutes before beaming back. When Kirk arrives on the transporter pad, he looks a little woozy. Scotty helps him to his quarters, leaving the room unattended, and a few seconds later, the transporter activates by itself. A hunched figure appears, facing away from us. He turns and we see…it’s Captain Kirk! The extreme close-up, dramatic music, and lighting on his face—not to mention the eyeliner—tell us immediately that he’s evil.

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Tags: evil doubles, silly costumes, sulu rocks, the enemy within, transporter malfunction