primitivism Archive

22

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Up the Long Ladder”

“Up the Long Ladder”
Written by Melinda M. Snodgrass
Directed by Winrich Kolbe

Season 2, Episode 18
Original air date: May 22, 1989
Star date: 42823.2

Mission summary

This episode begins with an S.O.S. This is your only warning.

The strange signal, whose nature Riker instantly guesses despite it taking Starfleet a month, is a call for help used by Earthlings over three hundred years ago. Even though the distress call’s a month old no one has bothered to check it out yet, which winds up having been a strangely prescient move. Alas, Picard decides to save humanity’s “lost sheep,” in between healing some lepers and turning water into synthehol. Worf wants out of this episode and collapses to the floor of the bridge, thereby cementing his role as the most sensible person on this godforsaken boat.

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78

Star Trek Re-Watch: “The Way to Eden”

The Way to Eden
Story by Michael Richards and Arthur Heinemann
Teleplay by Arthur Heinemann
Directed by David Alexander

Season 3, Episode 20
Production episode: 3×20
Original air date: February 21, 1969
Star date: 5832.3

Mission summary

The Enterprise is chasing a small re-used Tholian dart cruiser that’s heading for Romulan space. Despite repeated hails the cruiser will not turn back, and so Kirk engages a tractor beam to tow them to safety. They seem to really want to get to Romulan territory (must be the ale) because they struggle against the tractor beam. Soon their engines begin to overheat (we know this because it turns red, like an electric stovetop) and when it becomes obvious they’re going to explode, Kirk orders Scotty to beam aboard the crew of six to the Enterprise. He will regret this is fairly short order, as will we all.

In the transporter bay six space hippies, covered in floral body paint and flowing robes, materialize before us. They sit down on the transporter pads and refuse to move when Scotty tries to take them to the briefing room. Instead, they shriek like new age banshees, “No go! No go! No go!” Let’s just hope Nurse Chapel doesn’t have to play babysitter again.

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59

Star Trek Re-Watch: “The Paradise Syndrome”

The Paradise Syndrome
Written by Margaret Armen
Directed by Jud Taylor

Season 3, Episode 3
Production episode: 3×03
Original air date: October 4, 1968
Star date: 4842.6

 

Mission summary

Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy beam down into a nature documentary. The captain and doctor immediately fall in love with the rustic setting; despite astronomical odds, the planet is identical to Earth right down to the pine trees, honeysuckle, and metal obelisk in a clearing. No wait, that’s new. Its composition and the markings on the strange building are alien, but there’s no time to study it because a moon-sized asteroid is heading for the planet. They’re on a tight schedule if Enterprise is to have any chance of diverting it.

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