lovable rogues Archive

28

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Outrageous Okona”

“The Outrageous Okona”
Teleplay by Burton Armus
Story by Les Menchen, Lance Dickson, David Landsberg
Directed by Robert Becker

Season 2, Episode 4
Original air date: December 12, 1988
Star date: 42402.7

Mission summary

As the Enterprise makes its way through a twin planetary system, it stumbles across a class 9 freighter called the Erstwhile. Onboard, a single plucky human is trying to whack the side of his guidance system to get it working again. He makes a few flat jokes and Picard, ever the humanitarian, decides to help out this disheveled, saucy “rogue”–let’s call him Sman Smolo–and asks Geordi to work on replacing the guidance system for him.

Smolo, who goes by “Okona,” beams aboard and immediately tries some lines on the lady at the transporter post:

OKONA: And thank you for beaming me here and enabling me to see a truly beautiful woman. You have the majestic carriage and loveliness that could surely be traced back to the noblest of families.
ROBINSON: Well, I’m sure that you’ve said that to many ladies before, and it was no more true then than it is now.
OKONA: But it’s how I say it that’s really important. The warmth, the attraction that I have for you. The attraction that we share.

Riker and Geordi look at one another meaningfully because it’s always funny to watch your coworkers get harassed by arrogant douches, especially when they use words like “carriage” that are probably best left to auto repair guides and not used on women. (Suspension of disbelief destroyed in 3…) Robinson is successfully seduced (…2…) and gives Okona her room number (…1! HAHA YEAH RIGHT). That lovable scamp is going to turn this place upside down, just you wait!

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11

Star Trek Animated Series Re-Watch: “Mudd’s Passion”

Mudd’s Passion
Written by Stephen Kandel
Directed by Hal Sutherland

Season 1, Episode 10
Production episode: 22008
Original air date: November 10, 1973
Star date: 4978.5

Mission summary

Enterprise makes a special trip to Motherlode in the Arcadian star system in search of one Harcourt Fenton Mudd, wanted on several counts of being annoying. They find the infamous swindler hawking a love potion to the human and ursine miners on the planet, claiming that all it takes is a drop of a magic liquid to compell any woman to love them with a single touch. “It matters not whether you are young, old, fat, ugly or repugnant,” he assures the crowd–and what better way to prove three out of four than by a personal demonstration? He brings up a young blonde who implores, “Please, darling, come back to the ship with me.” Yecch!

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3

Star Trek Re-Watch: “I, Mudd”

“I, Mudd”
Written by Stephen Kandel
Directed by Marc Daniels

Season 2, Episode 9
Production episode: 2×12
Original air date: November 3, 1967
Star date: 4513.3

Mission Summary:
A new crewmember, Norman, has come aboard the Enterprise, and he stiffly greets Doctor McCoy and Spock in the hallway. Bones has a bad feeling about him—and since he’s the emotional core of the show, so do we.

MCCOY: There’s something wrong about a man who never smiles, whose conversation never varies from the routine of the job, and who won’t talk about his background.
SPOCK: I see.
MCCOY: Spock, I mean that it’s odd for a non-Vulcan. The ears make all the difference.

Norman makes his way to Auxiliary Control, where he silently karate-chops the crewman there and inputs a new course direction. Sulu can’t override it, and Security can’t seem to find Norman, which is shocking considering he’s taller than even Nimoy and looks like a giant among elves. Norman makes his way to Engineering next, knocking out poor Mr. Scott and reconfiguring the matter-antimatter pods into a trigger relay (yada yada SCIENCE!) that will destroy the ship if they try and override it. He then heads to the bridge, where an angry Kirk demands to know who he is and where they’re now inexorably headed.

Norman says in stilted pauses that “we” require the Enterprise, and reveals a circuit panel on his abdomen, complete with blinking lights: he’s an android! He then crosses his arms and turns himself off for the duration of the flight.

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