“The Offspring”
Written by René Echevarria
Directed by Jonathan Frakes
Season 3, Episode 16
Original air date: March 12, 1990
Star date: 43657.0
Mission summary
Data summons Wesley, La Forge, and Troi to his lab for some Really Big News. After a drumroll, he unveils… a thing! They’re not really sure what it is–it seems to be a Soong-type android in beta–until it calls Data “father” and Data explains that this is his child, Lal.
“Contagion”
Written by Steve Gerber & Beth Woods
Directed by Joseph L. Scanlan
Season 2, Episode 11
Original air date: March 20, 1989
Star date: 42609.1
Mission summary
Enterprise risks entering the Neutral Zone to rendezvous with her sister ship, the Yamato, which is suffering serious system malfunctions. As her dour captain Donald Varley tells them that he’s lost an engineering team and the Yamato is continuing to fall apart, Data downloads her ship logs and notices one tiny, insignificant hiccup in the process that probably doesn’t mean anything.
“The Schizoid Man”
Teleplay by Tracy Tormé
Story by Richard Manning and Hans Beimler
Directed by Les Landau
Season 2, Episode 6
Original air date: January 23, 1989
Star date: 42437.5
Mission summary
The Enterprise has been sent on a priority 1 mission to assist Dr. Ira Graves, a cybernetic genius who has fallen ill and whose assistant has sent out a distress signal. But who has time for that when we can have a comic interlude! Troi and La Forge head to Data’s quarters because the android has something to show them.
LAFORGE: Did you damage your face, Data?
DATA: It is a beard, Geordi. A fine, full, dignified beard. One which commands respect and projects thoughtfulness and dignity. Well? Opinions?
TROI: It’s er, very different.
DATA: When I stroke the beard thusly, do I not appear more intellectual?
TROI: I’m sorry, I have to go now. Goodbye.
HEY COME BACK HERE. You have to sit through this, too!
“The Outrageous Okona”
Teleplay by Burton Armus
Story by Les Menchen, Lance Dickson, David Landsberg
Directed by Robert Becker
Season 2, Episode 4
Original air date: December 12, 1988
Star date: 42402.7
Mission summary
As the Enterprise makes its way through a twin planetary system, it stumbles across a class 9 freighter called the Erstwhile. Onboard, a single plucky human is trying to whack the side of his guidance system to get it working again. He makes a few flat jokes and Picard, ever the humanitarian, decides to help out this disheveled, saucy “rogue”–let’s call him Sman Smolo–and asks Geordi to work on replacing the guidance system for him.
Smolo, who goes by “Okona,” beams aboard and immediately tries some lines on the lady at the transporter post:
OKONA: And thank you for beaming me here and enabling me to see a truly beautiful woman. You have the majestic carriage and loveliness that could surely be traced back to the noblest of families.
ROBINSON: Well, I’m sure that you’ve said that to many ladies before, and it was no more true then than it is now.
OKONA: But it’s how I say it that’s really important. The warmth, the attraction that I have for you. The attraction that we share.
Riker and Geordi look at one another meaningfully because it’s always funny to watch your coworkers get harassed by arrogant douches, especially when they use words like “carriage” that are probably best left to auto repair guides and not used on women. (Suspension of disbelief destroyed in 3…) Robinson is successfully seduced (…2…) and gives Okona her room number (…1! HAHA YEAH RIGHT). That lovable scamp is going to turn this place upside down, just you wait!
“Elementary, Dear Data”
Written by Brian Alan Lane
Directed by Rob Bowman
Season 2, Episode 3
Original air date: December 5, 1988
Star date: 42286.3
Mission summary
The crew of the Enterprise has absolutely nothing to do for a few days, so La Forge and Data decide to cosplay as Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes in the holodeck. Things seem to be off to a great start: The holographic recreation of the drawing room at 221B Baker Street is incredibly detailed, and the friends soon settle into their roles. But as soon as Inspector Lestrade arrives with a case, Data instantly recognizes the scenario as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s “A Scandal in Bohemia” and “solves” the mystery immediately. La Forge storms out, annoyed that Data has spoiled the ending of a story published 474 years earlier.
“Datalore”
Written by Robert Lewin and Gene Roddenberry, Story by Robert Lewin and Maurice Hurley
Directed by Rob Bowman
Season 1, Episode 13
Original air date: January 18, 1988
Star date: 41242.4
Mission summary
Enterprise is passing near the planet where the android Lt. Commander Data was found, so Picard decides to make a short detour in the hopes of unearthing fresh clues to the fate of the colonists who disappeared twenty-six years before.
“Encounter at Farpoint”
Written by D.C. Fontana and Gene Roddenberry
Directed by Corey Allen
Season 1, Episodes 1 & 2
Original air date: September 28, 1987
Star date: 41153.7
Mission summary
Captain Jean-Luc Picard has been assigned command of the USS Enterprise-D. Headed to Deneb IV to round up the rest of his shiny new crew, the Enterprise thumps right into a supernatural barrier. The space net won’t budge and Picard and his bridge officers are visited by Q, a seemingly omnipotent being who accuses the human race of being a violent, savage race of puppy-drowning kitten-snatchers. He demands that they turn tail and run back to Earth or he will kill them all.
“All Our Yesterdays”
Written by Jean Lisette Aroeste
Directed by Marvin Chomsky
Season 3, Episode 23
Production episode: 3×23
Original air date: March 14, 1969
Star date: 5943.7
Mission summary
Enterprise arrives at Sarpeidon three-and-a-half hours before its star, Beta Niobe, goes supernova, only to discover that the planet has already been evacuated. Where everyone has gone is anyone’s guess, since Sarpeidon hadn’t yet discovered space travel. A strong power reading on the surface leads Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy to some sort of archive, where they are greeted by an old librarian, Mr. Atoz. The poor guy is so happy to have patrons to serve, he doesn’t even notice they’re out-of-towners or bother to check their library cards. Kirk asks him where everyone went, but Atoz is too senile or focused on helping them to give him a straight answer.
ATOZ: It depended on the individual, of course. If you wish to trace a specific person, I’m sorry, but that information is confidential.
MCCOY: No, no particular person, just people in general. Where did they go?
ATOZ: Ah, you find it difficult to choose, is that it? Yes, a wide range of alternatives is a mixed blessing, but perhaps I can help. Would you step this way, please?
“Requiem for Methuselah”
Written by Jerome Bixby
Directed by Murray Golden
Season 3, Episode 19
Production episode: 3×21
Original air date: February 14, 1969
Star date: 5843.7
Mission summary
Kirk, Spock, and McCoy beam down to planet Holberg 917G in search of pure ryetalyn, the only known cure for a deadly outbreak of Rigelian fever on Enterprise. If they can’t secure this maguffin and process it in four hours, McCoy says “the epidemic will be irreversible.” They certainly don’t have time to investigate the life form that Spock’s tricorder registers on the supposedly uninhabited planet, nor is it a convenient moment for a floating robot to wobble over and fire a blue laser beam in their general vicinity. But these things happen, so what are you going to do?
“Return to Tomorrow”
Written by John Kingsbridge
Directed by Ralph Senensky
Season 2, Episode 19
Production episode: 2×22
Original air date: February 9, 1968
Star date: 4768.3
Mission summary
Enterprise is drawn to an unexplored star system by a strange distress signal…or is it? The signal doesn’t seem to exist, yet it’s affecting Uhura’s channels—but there’s definitely something, maybe, trying to get their attention and… Oh look! There’s a planet up ahead. It’s a formerly-Class M planet now with a dead atmosphere, and completely lifeless. Or is it? A voice speaks to the crew using only the power of his mind; he identifies himself as Sargon, and directs them to kindly park their ship in orbit. Kirk’s understandably hesitant since the planet’s dead and all, but Sargon’s invitation is ominous, if not compelling: “And I am as dead as my planet. Does that frighten you, James Kirk? For if it does, if you let what is left of me perish, then all of you, my children, all of mankind must perish, too.”
Making "Spock's Brain" re-watchable.
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