“The Man Trap”
Written by some dude with lady issues
Probably directed by Marc Daniels
Season 1, Episode 1
Production episode: First!!111
Original air date: The ’60s
Star date: April 17th.2
4 $4L7 \/4/\/\P1r3 7|-|r3473|\|$ 7|-|3 3|\|73rPr1$3, 4774(|<1|\|9 1|\||\|0(3|\|7 $4L7 $|-|4|<3r$ 4|\|D (r3\/\//\/\3/\/\B3r$ 4L1|<3. [*]
|The Enterprise is in orbit around
M-113, a planet so boring they
didn’t bother naming it.
|They beam down, but Kirk
decides a brief tickle fight
would be good for morale.
|Kirk puts on the charm on
McCoy’s ex, Carter, until he
gets a closer look at her.
|“Hey, sexy mama… wanna
kill all humans?”
|Too bad his date sucked… all
the salt from his body!
|“Is there salt on my breath?”|
|Back on the ship, Uhura begs
Mr. Spock to give up singing.
He resists vehemently.
|Kirk and McCoy argue about
the worst Bond: Lazenby or
Moore. This’ll take awhile.
|You shot 160lbs of crewman,
but could only carry 100lbs
back to the wagon.
|The men admire Scotty’s
impressive working prototype
of bathtub Saurian brandy.
|A crewman demands Uhura
return his tribble plushie.
|David Bowie guest stars.|
|Is this even consensual?||
Carter contemplates the new
|Spock instructs Kirk on where
to insert the dollar bills.
| Spock’s horgh’an becomes
an object of infighting.
|But a game of charades
lightens the mood and
relieves some tension.
| Kirk finally realizes Carter’s
“suckers” weren’t a euphemism.
Oh the mistakes he’s made…
Sparkling seems to be common
The Enterprise gets the @$#!
Our early reviews were so short. How did we get so wordy? – EM
We let ourselves go, like Schwarzenegger. But at least were able to fix it in time. Just think, if a picture’s worth a thousand words, then these are actually longer than our usual reviews! – TA
@ecmyers So Kirk is making a log entry about the fact that McCoy has only been with one woman? Nice.
@ecmyers Because “Bones” is a much better nickname than “Plum.”
@ecmyers I wonder why she calls him Plum. His favorite character in Clue? No wait, he’s a doctor, not a professor.
@ecmyers Thank God Kirk explained that in his Captain’s Log. I never would have figured out they were seeing different women.
@ecmyers Why’d Prof. Crater look so freaked when McCoy told him to cut down on his salt intake? #ifihadwrittenthis
@ecmyers Actually, Darnell probably *was* stupid enough to eat something he’s never seen before, considering. #innuendo
@ecmyers I guess that’s true of the salt vampire too, a little more literally.
@ecmyers Sorry, Uhura. Spock’s right this time—you *are* being illogical.
@ecmyers You hate opening hailing frequencies? You’re lucky you have a job.
@ecmyers Kirk: “What kills a healthy man?” Well, following strange women into the wilderness doesn’t help. #helearneditfromwatchingyou
@ecmyers Uh… Was Kirk just being racist, or are they actually delivering Mexican chili peppers to Cmdr. Jose Dominguez?
@ecmyers Is this the last time McCoy refers to the captain as “sir”? #1stepisode
@ecmyers They didn’t bring a sample of the Borgia plant to the ship before? Also, hey, his name is Sturgeon! #injokes
@ecmyers Kirk, you don’t think it’s weird that “Green” found Sturgeon dead & decided to wander around instead of telling you? #worstcrewever
@ecmyers “Stop thinking with your glands.” Ouch. Kirk’s on a roll. #potmeetkettle
@ecmyers Stop hitting on Yeoman Rand! #seriouslyworstcrewever
@ecmyers Sulu’s “Feeding the weepers?” Please don’t be a euphemism.
@ecmyers “Try taking one of those red pills you gave me last week.” Proof that Star Trek takes place in the Matrix? #itallmakesensenow
@ecmyers “Armed and able-bodied crewmen are not attacked and slaughtered this easily.” You should hire some for Enterprise. #worstcrewever
@ecmyers I didn’t know the communicators let people cut in. What phone plan is that? How many text messages do they get each month?
@ecmyers “Yellow alert” is a lot easier to say than “General Quarters 3.” #firstepisode
@ecmyers Is it just me, or does a killer onboard warrant a red alert, maybe? #ifitweremyship
@ecmyers Weird to hear Kirk call Spock “Lieutenant.” #1stepisode
@ecmyers So what killed all the salt vampires?
@ecmyers Oh, I know! Dr. Pepper.
@ecmyers But seriously, too much of that stuff will kill you.
@ecmyers Did they put salt in man traps to capture the creature? Because it looked like the salt vampire played on both teams. #badtitles
@ecmyers Ew. Crater’s in love with it? #kinky
@ecmyers Nice line: “This thing becomes wife, lover, best friend, wise man, fool, idol, slave.” #kinky
@ecmyers “My ancestors spawned in another ocean than yours did.” #kinky
@ecmyers Shoot it, McCoy!
@ecmyers It’s killing Captain Kirk. Shoot it already!
@ecmyers *sigh* That McCoy… It’s nice to know that he’s got your back, no matter what.
@ecmyers What a coincidence, Jim. I’m thinking of buffalo wings.
@ecmyers Well, that was a depressing ending. #warp1istheloneliestnumber
[spoiler]Eugene can, with aplomb, distill complex ideas into an eclat of 140-characters. – TA
Is that even a compliment? – EM
Do you want it to be? – TA[/spoiler]
Eugene’s Rating: Warp Factor 4.2856419 (on a possible scale of 1 to 6)
[spoiler]Succinct. Elegant, even. Is there anything cats can’t do? – TA[/spoiler]
Torie’s Rating: Warp Factor 4.0218984 (on a possible scale of 1 to 6)
Next Episode: Season 1, Episode 2 – “Charlie X.”