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21

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Schizoid Man”

“The Schizoid Man”
Teleplay by Tracy Tormé
Story by Richard Manning and Hans Beimler
Directed by Les Landau

Season 2, Episode 6
Original air date: January 23, 1989
Star date: 42437.5

Mission summary

The Enterprise has been sent on a priority 1 mission to assist Dr. Ira Graves, a cybernetic genius who has fallen ill and whose assistant has sent out a distress signal. But who has time for that when we can have a comic interlude! Troi and La Forge head to Data’s quarters because the android has something to show them.

LAFORGE: Did you damage your face, Data?
DATA: It is a beard, Geordi. A fine, full, dignified beard. One which commands respect and projects thoughtfulness and dignity. Well? Opinions?
TROI: It’s er, very different.
DATA: When I stroke the beard thusly, do I not appear more intellectual?
TROI: I’m sorry, I have to go now. Goodbye.

HEY COME BACK HERE. You have to sit through this, too!

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20

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Loud as a Whisper”

“Loud as a Whisper”
Written by Jacqueline Zambrano
Directed by Larry Shaw

Season 2, Episode 5
Original air date: January 9, 1989
Star date: 42477.2

Mission summary

Enterprise has been tasked with delivering a famous mediator to a planet torn by centuries of war, with strict orders not to interfere directly. When they arrive at the mediator’s planet a long distance away, Riker interrupts Picard’s re-watch of The Planets so the captain can make a “simple ceremonial greeting,” though he urges Picard to be careful. There doesn’t seem to be anything to worry about because when Picard, an exceptionally grumpy Worf, and Troi beam down, no one is there.

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2

Free books!

Some of you may know that I inherited a fairly large science fiction library from my college sci-fi club. The rare and historically significant books are preserved in a rare book library, but I’m left with a bajillion “common,” or not valuable, popular books, which I am sorting through for donation.

Among them I found quite a few Star Trek novels. If anyone on The Viewscreen is interested in these, please let me know. I’ll be happy to post them (even internationally) to a fan rather than donate them, where they will likely to be tossed for lack of interest.

Some are very well read and have many creases (the TNG books mostly); others are in fine shape for 30-year-old books. Here’s the list. Leave me a note in the comments and e-mail me at torie@theviewscreen.com. If you can chip in a buck or two for postage that’s great, but if not, I’ll send them anyway.

List is below the fold.

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28

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Outrageous Okona”

“The Outrageous Okona”
Teleplay by Burton Armus
Story by Les Menchen, Lance Dickson, David Landsberg
Directed by Robert Becker

Season 2, Episode 4
Original air date: December 12, 1988
Star date: 42402.7

Mission summary

As the Enterprise makes its way through a twin planetary system, it stumbles across a class 9 freighter called the Erstwhile. Onboard, a single plucky human is trying to whack the side of his guidance system to get it working again. He makes a few flat jokes and Picard, ever the humanitarian, decides to help out this disheveled, saucy “rogue”–let’s call him Sman Smolo–and asks Geordi to work on replacing the guidance system for him.

Smolo, who goes by “Okona,” beams aboard and immediately tries some lines on the lady at the transporter post:

OKONA: And thank you for beaming me here and enabling me to see a truly beautiful woman. You have the majestic carriage and loveliness that could surely be traced back to the noblest of families.
ROBINSON: Well, I’m sure that you’ve said that to many ladies before, and it was no more true then than it is now.
OKONA: But it’s how I say it that’s really important. The warmth, the attraction that I have for you. The attraction that we share.

Riker and Geordi look at one another meaningfully because it’s always funny to watch your coworkers get harassed by arrogant douches, especially when they use words like “carriage” that are probably best left to auto repair guides and not used on women. (Suspension of disbelief destroyed in 3…) Robinson is successfully seduced (…2…) and gives Okona her room number (…1! HAHA YEAH RIGHT). That lovable scamp is going to turn this place upside down, just you wait!

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31

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Elementary, Dear Data”

“Elementary, Dear Data”
Written by Brian Alan Lane
Directed by Rob Bowman

Season 2, Episode 3
Original air date: December 5, 1988
Star date: 42286.3

Mission summary

The crew of the Enterprise has absolutely nothing to do for a few days, so La Forge and Data decide to cosplay as Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes in the holodeck. Things seem to be off to a great start: The holographic recreation of the drawing room at 221B Baker Street is incredibly detailed, and the friends soon settle into their roles. But as soon as Inspector Lestrade arrives with a case, Data instantly recognizes the scenario as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s “A Scandal in Bohemia” and “solves” the mystery immediately. La Forge storms out, annoyed that Data has spoiled the ending of a story published 474 years earlier.

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28

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Where Silence Has Lease”

“Where Silence Has Lease”
Written by Jack B. Sowards
Directed by Winrich Kolbe

Season 2, Episode 2
Original air date: November 28, 1988
Star date: 42193.6

Mission summary

Worf invites Riker to the Klingon’s ultraviolent “calisthenics program,” a lengthy and pointless opening sequence that winds up being the most exciting part of these 44 minutes. The actual plot1 begins2 when the crew stumbles upon a “black void,” or what Data calls “nothing”: no sensor readings, no life signs, just a “hole in space.” This threatens to be interesting but it’s actually just Act I of an absurdist tragicomedy featuring a bridge with no exit.

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31

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Child”

“The Child”
Written by Jaron Summers, Jon Povill, and Maurice Hurley
Directed by Rob Bowman

Season 2, Episode 1
Original air date: November 21, 1988
Star date: 42073.1

Mission summary

As a shuttlecraft from U.S.S. Repulse drops off Enterprise’s new chief medical officer, Dr. Leonard McCoy Katherine Pulaski, the recently promoted Chief Engineer La Forge shows off his elaborate new containment module to Captain Picard and Commander Riker, who is showing off his new beard. The modules have been designed with completely independent environments, the better to transport dangerous specimens of a plasma plague from ’aucdet IX to a science station for research.

Meanwhile, Commander Data detects a “random energy transference”—a small light that enters the ship through its aft hull and flits through corridors and crew quarters until it darts under Counselor Troi’s blanket and enters her body, uh, aft. Troi wakes up all hot and bothered.

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37

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: Season 1 Wrap-Up

You're going to need more than one glass to get through this season, Picard.

With the worst behind us, we present our summarized ratings for season 1 and ponder what we ever did to deserve this.

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24

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “The Neutral Zone”

“The Neutral Zone”
Teleplay by Maurice Hurley
Story by Deborah McIntyre & Mona Clee
Directed by James L. Conway

Season 1, Episode 26
Original air date: May 16, 1988
Star date: 41986.0

Mission summary

Because Picard has to attend an emergency conference on Starbase 718, Riker commands the Enterprise when it stumbles upon a decrepit little capsule headed for a mine field. With a few hours to spare before the boss returns, Data suggests investigating the capsule. He and Worf beam down and discover several preserved meat popsicles (and a few corpses) within.

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32

Star Trek: The Next Generation Re-Watch: “Conspiracy”

“Conspiracy”
Teleplay by Tracy Tormé
Story by Robert Sabaroff
Directed by Cliff Bole

Season 1, Episode 25
Original air date: May 9, 1988
Star date: 41775.5

Mission summary

The Enterprise crew is excited about taking yet another shore leave on Waterworld Pacifica under the guise of a “scientific mission.” They’re goofing off and telling inappropriate jokes on the Bridge when a top secret communiqué rains on their parade: a Code 47 on the Starfleet Emergency Broadcast System, for the captain’s eyes only. Riker wakes up Picard to take the important call, which is from one of his oldest living friends, Captain Walker Keel of the U.S.S. Horatio. He has an ominous warning for Picard: Trust no one. They agree to rendezvous in person at an old mining planet, Dytallix B, which is almost as good as a planet of beautiful oceans and beaches, if you’re a Horta anyway.

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